


Change is a question; change is the answer.

by AngelOfImpala221



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Anxiety, Awkward Castiel (Supernatural), Awkwardness, Bittersweet Ending, Castiel is Jimmy Novak (Supernatural), Closeted Poet Castiel, Endgame not Destiel, Famous Castiel (Supernatural), Famous Dean Winchester, Flashbacks, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Kid Castiel (Supernatural), Kid Castiel/Kid Dean Winchester, Kid Dean Winchester, Love Poems, Love songs, Meg has blonde hair, Minor Crowley (Supernatural), Minor Rowena MacLeod, Multi, Musician Dean Winchester, One-sided Hannah/Castiel, POV Alternating, POV Castiel (Supernatural), POV Dean Winchester, POV Outsider, Photographer Castiel (Supernatural), Poet Castiel (Supernatural), School Reunion, Singer Lisa Braeden, Song: Can't Help Falling in Love (Elvis Presley), poems and songs, rockstar dean winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:14:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 31,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26100970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelOfImpala221/pseuds/AngelOfImpala221
Summary: Castiel, a photographer, gets nostalgic after he visits his school in his hometown. During a reunion with his classmates, he meets Dean Winchester, his childhood sweetheart.(Edit: Updates on Wednesday :) )
Relationships: Balthazar & Castiel (Supernatural), Castiel & Bobby Singer, Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel & Gabriel (Supernatural), Castiel/Dean Winchester, Castiel/Meg Masters, Charlie Bradbury & Castiel, Charlie Bradbury & Dean Winchester, Crowley (Supernatural)/Meg Masters, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Dorothy Baum/Charlie Bradbury, Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester
Comments: 8
Kudos: 26





	1. Blurb

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work inspired by this South-Indian Tamil Movie '96' I watched recently and also a poem/fable I read. Hope you all enjoy this idea and read my fic. I will upload a chapter every Wednesday hopefully.  
> This is, like the title, a blurb. The chapter with the main story will be uploaded tomorrow and the consequent chapters every Wednesday from then on:)  
> Thank you for giving this fic a try!!!

Once there was a bird who fell in love with a whale. And a whale who fell in love with a bird.  
  
The bird loved the whale's beautiful smile. He loved the way she swam through the water so gracefully.  
  
The whale loved the bird's handsome white feathers. She loved to watch him soar through the sky.  
  
And they both loved to eat lots of tiny fish.

All summer, the bird and the whale met in the bay. They talked and talked.  
They talked about the moon, and the tides, and the ships in the ocean.  
  
The bird told jokes and made the whale laugh. The whale sang beautiful songs that made the bird cry (even though he didn't know why).  
  
_"One day, you could meet my family in the ocean,"_ said the whale.  
_"And you could meet my friends on the land,"_ said the bird.  
  
Everything was perfect.  
  
But the world does not stop turning just because a bird and whale fall in love. Summer turned into autumn, and autumn turned into winter. The ocean turned cold, and all the other whales left for warmer waters.  
  
_"Come with me to warmer waters,"_ said the whale. _"It’s a wonderful place. It's always warm, and there are so many fish to eat."  
_  
_"I love to eat fish,"_ said the bird. _"And I love you. I will follow you anywhere. But first, teach me to be a whale?"  
_  
_"Like this!"_ said the whale, _"follow me!",_ and she dived deep into the water.  
  
_"OK!"_ said the bird, and he also dived deep into the water.

Deeper and deeper he went. _"I'm swimming!"_ he laughed. _"I'm a whale!"_ But soon he couldn't breathe. He returned to the surface, gasping.  
  
He tried and tried and tried again, but he ran out of breath every time.  
  
_"I don't think a bird can become a whale,"_ said the bird. _"Come with me instead. I live up on the cliffs. It is a wonderful place. It's warm and cosy, and every morning you can watch the sun rise."  
_  
_"I love to watch the sun rise,"_ said the whale. _"And I love you. I will follow you anywhere. But first, teach me to be a bird?"  
_  
_"Like this!"_ said the bird. _"Follow me!"_ , and he flapped his wings and soared into the sky.

_"OK!"_ said the whale. She squeezed her eyes shut and flapped her fins, just like the bird. She flapped and flapped, up and down. Water splashed everywhere. _"I'm flying!"_ she laughed. _"I'm a bird!"_   
  
But when she opened her eyes, she wasn't soaring in the sky. She was still in the water.  
  
She tried and tried and tried again, but she could not fly.  
  
_"I don't think a whale can become a bird,"_ said the whale.  
  
_"But if you can't fly, and I can't swim, where can we live together?"_ said the bird.  
  
_"We will stay here — in the waves!"_ said the whale.  
  
But the bird shook his head sadly.  
_"You love to swim deep in the ocean,"_ he said _. That is your favorite thing to do. You would never be happy here."  
_  
The whale sighed.  
_"And you love to fly and soar into the sky,"_ she said. _"That is your favorite thing to do. You would never be happy here either."_  
  
And so, because the bird and whale loved each other so much, they said goodbye.

But they never forgot each other. Every time the whale saw a bird flying high in the sky, she thought of her bird. She hoped he was enjoying the skies — just like that.  
  
And every time the bird saw a whale diving deep in the ocean, he thought of his whale. He hoped she was enjoying the ocean — just like that.


	2. Life of Cas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas stumbles into his childhood hometown: Lawrence, Kansas.

_ After reaching the shore, I love the sea. _

_ After my hair greys, I understand the world. _

_ Yesterday's joys come together, _

_ Today, at this moment, they find meaning. _

_ Today's joys will come together,  _

_ To find their meaning tomorrow. _

_ To live my life that I never lived. _

_ Unable to bear this, upwards I go. _

_ To kindle my never-ending passion. _

_ Here and now, I am coming out of it. _

_ Here and now, I immerse myself into the depths. _

_ I look at myself as someone else. _

_ Not with any reason, just naturally. _

_ With clarity, like that of a sunray! _

_ I don’t belong to these depths, but I dwell in them. _

_ As a mirror I am born, _

_ I become everything I see. _

_ The joy of a kitten's caress on my feet,  _

_ Is a life enough for me. _

_ I want to stroke, everything I come across, beautifully _ _! _

_ I will always be myself. _

_ Every day I will live to the fullest. _

_ I will object a life of conventions. _

_ I will live a life of supreme essence! _

_ I will become as pure as possible. _

_ With the wind flies the Hawk. _

_ Beautifully, without a path. _

_ It being its own reality. _

_ Like the rock that goes to the depth of the waters, _

_ With a renouncing of sound, _

_ I drown in the sights I see. _

_ Like the bird that rides on the bull's hump, _

_ I will live upon the Earth. _

_ I will join hands and walk along with the Earth. _

_ Some kind of ecstasy is flowing, _

_ That provides depth! _

_ This moment envelops like a mother, _

_ Singing a lullaby. _

The footsteps approaching startled Castiel. He quickly closed his journal, sliding his pen in the elastic of the book, and hiding it in his bag.

“Goo-”, began a student.

“Come. All of you.” He motioned the swarm of students to his front. As they gathered, he slid his camera around his neck.

“Good morning.” The student, Hannah, greeted as soon as they gathered in front of him.

He nodded to Hannah then looked to the others and said, “Morning.” They then wished him back. “What’s the time?” He then asked.

Hannah quickly looked to her wristwatch and answered, “8:59.”

Cas nodded in acknowledgement. “9 to 6, in 36 frames, we are going to click photographs in your digital camera. No preview. No deleting, if you find a mistake. We need to know what’s your mistake.”

“Ok sir.” Hannah said, then the other students followed.

Castiel hummed and continued. “9 to 6, no one should talk to each other, no chatting, no skyping, or whatever you guys do.” After another agreement from the students, he continued. “Every frame that you capture should be one that you admired and not what you took to impress others. Hmm?”

“Yes sir.”

“Good, now go.”

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They were in Wichita, Kansas. The group had met in the Arkansas River, a spot direct opposite to Wichita Art Museum. The students had the option of exploring the Old Cowton Museum and the Keeper of the Plains statue. Because it was a Saturday, the fees to the museum were free, allowing the students to take photos without expenditure.

Cas supervised, walking 12 minutes back and forth between the Museum and the statue. Being a semi-known travel-photographer, the museum was more than happy to let Cas and his students work. He had helped a student to get the focus right on the camera – more like pulled him back by the hair, wondering how one could be stupid to place the camera 1 millimeter away from their targeted object. Another student was just lazy to not crouch down and get the beautiful shot of the statue. He rather enjoyed bending a little, resting his hand on his knee, and lethargically taking pictures. Cas got him the kid to kneel and get the photo – more like pressed his shoulders and kneed his shin, getting the kid to lose balance and fall to the ground.

There were students who did great too. This one girl, Hester, captured the light falling onto a well from the Sun, capturing the rustic vintage look of Cowtown Museum. Cas had appreciated her talent, for which she bowed. Cas himself took some pictures of the statue, capturing it in the Ring of Fire, which he saw another student follow. The students had gone back to work after lunch, but Cas went and sat near the river, putting his legs in and feeling the fish eat the dead skin of his legs. He heard a click of camera and turned to find Hannah with her camera raised to her face, capturing him and the city’s reflection on the water. She took another click of him facing her, for which Cas smiled and returned to his work.

“Only photography possesses the ability to freeze time. Hannah! In that photo of mine you clicked. Whenever I see it, I will be 37. So, make it count, live the moment.” Cas said as they gathered after the end of their session, to which Hannah excitedly nodded. Standing up, the students started crowding him asking for selfies to which Cas agreed. As the crowd moved back, he yawned. “Does anyone know how to drive? I have not had enough sleep.”

“Yes!” Hannah called out, her eyes wide and hopeful. “I know how to drive. I can drive.”

“Are you sure?” Cas asked, to which Hannah eagerly nodded. “Okay. Be ready tomorrow morning, then”

“Okay!”

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The next morning, before the Sun even rose, Cas was out of his hotel. He found a red car similar to what Hannah had described. He went down to find Hannah in the car, adjusting the passenger seat to lean back. Cas looked to the backseat to find it full of bags, so he moved to the front seat and got in. As Hannah set Google Maps on her phone, Cas spoke up.

“I will wake up in the middle and check. If we had crossed more than 100 km, you will never hear the end of it. Drive slowly and carefully.” Hannah nodded her head and turned to set her phone, but Cas was not done. “Listen! If you feel sleepy, do tell. Don’t just go crash the car somewhere. Okay?”

Hannah nodded again and turned to set her phone. She then settled in her seat and found Castiel asleep. Smiling, she reached across and put on the seatbelt for him, slowly as to not wake him up. The click of the belt got Cas to wake who thanked her and went back to sleep. She smiled at him and turned to take off.

Cas woke up a while later and found Hannah driving. He stretched and cracked his knuckles, ignoring the soreness of his neck from staying in the same position for a long time.

“Lawrence, sir.” Hannah informed. Cas looked out of the window as Hannah continued. “You were fast asleep. That’s why I didn’t wake you up. Some problem in Overland Park. That’s why we have to go through Lawrence, then Kansas City. Google Maps is on.” She said looking at Castiel then turned to road, after Cas shook his head in agreement.

Cas looked out of the windshield and he took a deep breath. “Go straight.”

“Huh?” Hannah glanced at Cas before looking at the road. “Google says left.”

“Don’t listen to that. Listen to me. Go straight.” Hannah hesitantly shook her head in acknowledgement and followed what Cas said. “Also, roll the window down.” Hannah did as she was said. “Now just smell the air outside.” As soon as she did, Cas asked. “So, how is it? The air of my town.”

Hannah happily hummed as she nodded at the question before asking, “This is your town?”

Cas nodded and said, “This is where I was born and brought up. My native land!”

As they entered the town, Cas started pointing out places and sharing his memories to Hannah. She chuckled at his childish excitement as he talked about the old bus stand, the government hospital he was born in, and a bakery where ‘even after a hefty meal, the pies will get your mouth watering.’

“Do you recognize what that is?” Cas asked Hannah.

“Spencer Museum of Art.” She answered.

“Good.” They rode that way for a while, Cas showing Lawrence and quizzing Hannah on things. “Hey! That’s -” Cas started but stopped abruptly. Hannah turned to see what Cas was looking at. It was an old bridge.

“What happened?” She asked. Cas didn’t reply, his gaze focused all on the bridge, as Hannah rode off. He turned back only when the bridge was out of sight. It was a while later when Cas spoke up.

“Hey stop stop!” Hannah stopped and turned to find Cas’ face right there, looking at a school outside from the driver’s window. “Can you go in full speed, and stopinfronthimandscarehim?”

“What?” Hannah asked, not understanding what Cas said at the end.

“I meant, can you go in full speed, and stop in front of him and scare him?” He pointed to the guard there.

“Sure!” Hannah said enthusiastically. She shifted her gear as she said, “Now watch.”

Hannah took a fast turn and went straight at the guard. The old man woke up at the sound of cars squealing and jumped up when he saw a car racing at him. “STOP NOW!” Cas excitedly exclaimed, and Hannah did so. The guard jumped back as the car stopped, knocking his chair down. Before the man could curse, Castiel exited the car and walked up to him.

“Good morning. I am Castiel, from 10th Grade.” He saluted and stomped his foot down, standing in attention.

“Ah you idjit!” The man grumbled. “It’s you, isn’t it.” The man grunted out as he walked forward to envelope Castiel in a bear hug. “I was thinking which reckless idiot was trying to run over me.” Cas laughed as he pulled back. “Are you good?”

“I’m fine Bobby.” Cas smiled. Hannah smiled at the two men’s interaction. “Bobby! Shall I just go and take a look around the school?”

“Oh no that’s very difficult. That’s not possible. First you have to get the principal’s permission. Then you have to get the signature of your parents.” Bobby said with flatly.

“Are you serious?” Cas asked with a confused look, which Hannah thought looked like a disgruntled kitten.

“Idjit!” Bobby smacked Cas’ head. “What kind of question is that? It’s your school! Go and see it.” Bobby chided.

Cas quickly got up and ran to the school, ignoring the headrush he got. He took in the familiar block of concrete, shielded by tall iron gates, and the words ‘Knowledge is Wealth’ carved on the building. He opened the gates and walked in, looking at the still healthy trees that wrought the path from the gate to the building. He walked in, smelling the chalk dust and looking at the daily notice board. He went to the ‘Roll Of Honor ‘Sports’’ board to find his name for 600 m track competition. He walked the hallways, running zig zag path between the pillars, looking up at the ceiling, and just enjoying the moment. He walked on the stairs that still creaked at the right places, opened the doors to his classroom; they squeaked like usual. He sat on his old seat, looking at the black board in front, the fans installed, and the desk ahead of him.

He walked to the grounds and sat down crisscross. He found Hannah walking around, taking photos. He smiled at her and turned to his side to find Bobby sitting on the bench. “Hey when did you come here?”

“I was sitting right here when you were dreaming princess.” Bobby replied.

Cas chuckled. “I just, got carried away by the old memories.”

“You remember that idiot who always hung out with you?” Bobby asked. “The one who came from Rockledge Road.” Cas nodded. “Are you still in touch with him?”

“No… there is no time for maintaining connection Bobby.” Cas said as he fished out his phone from his pocket. “With work, and stuff.” He shoved his phone to Bobby, who took it.

“What are you doing boy?” Cas didn’t reply but motioned Bobby to place the phone on his ear. As soon as the phone crackled to life, Bobby said. “Hello? I am Bobby, guard of Lawrence Highschool.”

“Bobby-o! How are you?!” Cas could hear the voice blaring from the phone.

Cas chuckled as recognition dawned on Bobby’s face. “Gabriel! You trickster idjit. I am well now that I don’t have to whoop your ass every day.” Bobby griped.

Cas could hear Gabe laughing maniacally. “I am well Bobby-o! Thank you for asking.”

“Shut up boy.” Bobby grumbled. “We were just talking about you. Cas just dialed your number…”

Cas left Bobby with his phone as he walked around the ground. He went to the track place and ran. He looked at the football grounds, jungle gym, and more. He went to sit near the entrance, motioning to Bobby he was there.

“Everything will happen only according to one’s fate.” Cas heard Bobby’s voice. He looked up to find Bobby walking towards him. “Just concentrate on your work Sam.” Bobby covered the phone receiver as he said, “Sam wants to talk to you. I didn’t know the two were together. I wonder-”

“Hello?” Cas took the phone and asked.

“Yo Asstiel!” Sam scolded. “What are you doing there?” There was some rustling and a voice came through. “Hey Cassie! How’s the school like?”

“It’s the same Gabe!” Cas replied, equally excited. “Same building, same table, same chair, same guard too!” Cas ended as he poked Bobby’s belly, getting a disgruntled ‘idjit’ and a smack to the head in return.

“Dude, Sam wants to video call.” Gabe said.

“Why? Come here and see it for yourself. Like you are busy.” Cas taunted. There was a rustling again. “Hey!” Sam’s whining heard through the phone. “Video call! Please!”

“Sammy! This is a feeling. Come and see it live! Enjoy the moment.” Cas said. “Isn’t it around 10 to 15 years since we left? The schoo-”

“Wait wait what?” Sam interrupted. “10 to 15 years?! It’s been 20 years. And if you were there, you’d have known I skipped 2 more years and ended school with your batch.”

“20 years has gone by just like that?” Cas asked.

“Yeah dude.” Gabe chuckled. “Where have you been?”

“Wait a minute.” Sam said. There was a dialing tone now and another phone crackled.

“What’s up bitches?”

“Charlie?”

“Cas?” Charlie asked. “Holy shit it’s Dreamy Eyes! What the hell man?!”

“That asshole is in Lawrence now,” Gabe said. “In our school too!” Sam complained.

“Charlie it’s been 20 years since we left school.” Cas said astonished.

“Holy smokes. Well 22 for you,” she added, Cas wincing at the accusatory tone. “Wait! You haven’t met my wife, have you? DOR!!” Charlie’s voice sounded distant before there was a beeping in his phone. He took it out to find Charlie switching the call video.

Cas switched his camera on and asked Bobby to join him. 4 faces in two different panels popped up. “Oh my god! BOBBY!”

Bobby chuckled and replied. “Hey Charlie.” Bobby always had a soft spot for Charlie but who didn’t.

“Dor, that’s my friend Cas, and our high school guard Bobby! You know Sam and Gabe.” The two waved. Charlie then moved her phone and said, “This is Dorothy, my wife, and a baby in ma belly.”

“Congratulations Charlie!” Bobby and Cas said. Dorothy looked familiar, but Cas didn’t know why. They talked and Cas left to go to the car, Hannah in tow, waving at Bobby. Even when they were in the car, Cas had yet to stop talking with his friends. “Guys, do you have our classmates’ numbers? I wanna talk with ‘em.”

“Cas you ignorant slut.” Charlie said. “It will take ages to get everyone’s numbers and talk to them.”

“Then what do I do?” Cas asked.

“Why worry when we have the useless school WhatsApp group?!” Gabe chuckled. “Who do you think the admin is?”

“Who else! The only most useless guy we know.” Sam smiled. “My husband!”

“Shut up.” Gabe grumbled as Charlie, Dorothy, and Cas sniggered. “Anyways, I’ll add you to the group. Come and join it.”

“Awesome.” Cas replied. “Well, bye then.”

After a round of goodbyes, they hung up the call. Before Cas could set his phone down, a notification popped up saying he was added to a group. Hannah side-eyed Cas as he perked up.

“You can use the cord for charging.” Hannah said. “Easier to speak and save battery.”

“Thanks.” Cas said as he fiddled with the wires, not taking his eye off his phone. There was a flood of messages both welcoming and scolding him for being absent all these days. Cas confessed he had gone to school and had wanted to talk with them all. He then mentioned he wanted to see them all too.

Cole, his classmate, sent an image with the caption ‘Here ya go!’ Cas sat straight as the picture loaded before showing him their 10th grade class photo. Cas zoomed in on himself, looking shocked. He was now scruffy with beard and uncut messy hair, but back then he was clean shaved and with short hair. And there were others. He was shaken out of his reverie when his phone pinged.

It was a message from Gabe. ‘It has been 20 years since we graduated. Why don’t we have a reunion?’

‘Awesome idea!’ Victor, another classmate said.

‘Didn’t think you had it in you Gabe.’ Benny said.

‘Let’s decide a place right when everyone is online.’ Anna said.

‘Lawrence?’ Kevin asked.

‘Dude, most of us ran away from Kansas ASAP. Only few are settled in Kansas.’ Lydia replied.

‘We are spread out though.’ Charlie chimed in. ‘I guess we decide Kansas and get ready to join there. We can set the date to a later month or year.’

‘That’s awesome Red!’ Gabe answered. ‘Let’s settle on Lawrence then. Date?’

Everyone agreed to Charlie’s (the Queen’s) plan and decided to have the meeting 2 months from that day.

August 4, 2020.

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Cas got off his car and stood in front of the building. ‘Artera Event Gallery,’ it read. Everyone who joined chipped in money according to the number of people they brought. Their class was of 20 but with family and children, then number went up to almost 150 people. They were having their reunion outdoors, as indoors were for people more than 1000/1500. The Sun was at it’s peak, brightening the venue better than the artificial lights set around the venue. If only Cas had his camera, he would have enjoyed taking pictures of the greenery that wrought the place.

The decorations were all related to their class year. 2000. Looking at the board decorated with quotes and drawings, Cas felt giddy. The numbers 2-0-0-0 hung from a tree’s branch, ironically made from wood. The place was really fancy. There was a huge wide projector that played videos of people, that couldn’t make it to the reunion, apologizing and wishing luck and fun. Cas chuckled as he saw Lydia chucked her kid to her husband and run in to hug and squeal with Bela, Anna, Cassie, and many people. He found Gabe yelling at someone for taking the second right instead of the fourth left.

“Why he is he not here yet?” Cas heard Charlie say to Sam. “I bought extra drinks trusting him and Jo. But Jo ditched us at the last minute.” Charlie grumbled.

“I called him 3 times already Char.” Sam said as he sat next to her. “The 3rd time I had hit him up, he said he will come and hit me.” Sam sighed. “Looks like he is stuck in a meeting.”

That was true. Cas had suddenly gotten a call to do a photo shoot job in London in 2 days. Turns out the company’s photographer had suddenly fallen sick, so Cas had to jump in. He had left one hour late because of that and was in his formal attire – tan trench coat with a suit. And it was a good thing he got his coat because it was freezing like hell, even for 12 pm.

There was a bouncy house for kids to play in. Most of the kids were around 11 or less, so they were thrilled. Before Cas could walk to Sam and Charlie, he was under a dog pile. How? He didn’t know. The next few hours were spent taking photos, arm wrestling, and many other stupid things. Cas couldn’t remember what they were doing in detail , but he remembered the fun they were having.

It was around 4:00 or 5:00 pm when they settled back. Gabe, Sam, Charlie, and Cas sharing a table. Dorothy had some work, but they talked through video again. “What kind of photos have you taken? The light is dim in this one and there’s glare in the other.” Charlie chided Cas. “And you call yourself a photographer?” She shoved him before turning to Gabe. “Hey, is everyone here?” Charlie asked. “We have to order food.”

“4 of them are yet to come.” Sam replied instead, looking through his phone. “Three of them-” he jerked and sat up straight, turning to Gabe who was glaring at him. Sam’s face then morphed to realization before he continued, “-already… um… have been given… directions. Yeah.” He ended and bowed down.

“Then what about the fourth?” Charlie asked. Gabe looked at her, shaking his head no. “Huh?” Gabe looked to Cas, who was focusing on his phone, then looked at Charlie and shook his head. “Who is the fourth?” Charlie asked again, not understanding what Gabe was trying to convey. Gabe was about to repeat the movements, but just then Cas decided to look up and make eye-contact with him.

Gabe quickly looked away and fiddled with the tablecloth, not knowing what to do. “Why are you being so hesitant?” Charlie asked, and Cas turned to her, while Gabe took that opportunity to mouth quickly to Charlie to stop and repeat the eye motion. Right when Gabe shook his head, Cas turned back, and Gabe looked down. “Huh?” Charlie asked again. Cas gave Gabe a weird look before looking at his phone.

“Hey!” Charlie called Gabe. Sam, this time, did the same as Gabe and subtly tried to tell Charlie to shut her mouth by covering his mouth with his hand. Charlie tsked and asked Cas, “Why are they acting so weird? Come on say it!” She directed to Sam and Gabe.

“What’s going on?” Cas asked.

Sam and Gabe shared a look before Sam said. “Dean.” Cas’ face visibly changed, but into what, no one could understand. He took a deep breath in before Gabe added. “Dean’s joining us today Charlie. Ya happy?” Charlie looked down and scratched her thighs, not knowing how to react.

“Dean Winchester is joining the party.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first few paragraphs are a song from the movie mentioned earlier that has been translated loosely. In this work, it's a poem written by Castiel.


	3. High School Times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look to the past... the high school times :)

_1998 – Cas POV_

“ _… I’m a joker, I’m a smoker, I’m a midnight toker. I get my lovin’ on the run. Ooh, whoo, ooh, whoo.”_ The strings on the guitar played as the song came to an end. “And that’s my rendition of The Joker by the Steve Miller Band. Thank you!” Everyone clapped, including the teacher. If standing ovations were allowed, I would have given one, but I conceded with applause -- the loudest in the room.

For us, Dean always meant singing, and for Dean, singing was everything. Our school was different from most. While bullying was common in other schools, especially stemming from body shaming, sexuality, and ideals for men and women, our school was a safe zone. No one cared about others life and trying to ‘fix it’, or if a guy was acting feminine or a girl acted boyish. While other schools had factions and cliques in a class, ours was a tight-knit unit. No discrimination, no demeaning, no nothing. We were brought up in such a safe haven that sometimes we forgot there were things such as homophobia, transphobia, and many more. Our school worked hard for equality and provided uniforms for everyone, including the staffs. White shirt and blue pants/skirts for students while staffs wore grey shirt with black pants/skirts.

Another way our school was different was with how we were allowed to showcase our talents we wanted to. Like my photographs taken on school cameras were printed and stuck on the bulletin board, Charlie’s LARPING session ideas, heck even Gabe’s list of creative pranks were posted.

And there was Dean. He either sings or talks about singing. About rhythm, beat, pitch, but we didn’t understand anything. Any school event, Dean was the one who sang the national anthem. If teachers want the class to be quiet, they ask Dean to sing. His voice can get even a crying baby to quiet down.

His go to songs were always upbeat or jovial. On occasion he sang slow paced songs, but he almost always stuck with fast paced songs. There was something about his voice that made even metal peaceful. Even when listening to songs on the radio, the first thought that comes to mind is ‘Wait! Dean has sung this song.’ His face, his expressions, the way his mouth and fingers moved would flash through my mind. Not only was I fond of his singing, but I was also fond of Dean himself. And he knew it.

I still remember the first time we met. I made him laugh while answering our teacher during our kindergarten class, and I didn’t know then, but I was in love with that sound. We have been friends since then. If I wanted something, I ask him, and if he wanted something, he’d ask me. Only me. Even when I am not around, he would search for me, and ask me to help him.

There were days I would be sad, mulling over my marks, or my dad. No one else would have noticed but Dean would come to me and would utter those 2 words, just ask: ‘What happened?’ That was enough to get me up and going! I really can’t explain what Dean is to me, but I quickly got the answer to that.

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The teacher took her usual attendance when Dean’s name came up, but there was no response. Cas looked up from his table and at the desk ahead him, where Charlie sat with Dean. Charlie informed the teacher he wasn’t present today, and the teacher went back to calling names. Everyone went about their day, but Cas couldn’t.

“Why do you look like a monkey that ate sour grapes boy?” Bobby asked as Cas sat on his cycle near him.

“Dean was absent today,” Cas replied solemnly, “Don’t know why.” Cas went back to staring at the ground, not noticing Bobby looking at him knowingly and smirking to himself.

It was Friday and the same thing happened. The teacher called his name but no response. “What happened to him?” No one responded. And the teacher went back to calling names, and Cas had taken a while to respond to her.

“How do you not know where he is? Aren’t you always with him? You cycle with him to school!” Cas asked during recess.

“I don’t know. Even Sam isn’t in school!” Charlie replied.

“Can’t believe that Sasquatch was able to skip 2 years of schooling.” Gabe mused. “If only he can skip 2 more.”

“I don’t even know his house! They move once in 2 years.” Charlie said. “And we all meet up outside! Never in each other’s house. And you too cycle with me and him to school!”

The bell rang and everyone went to their classes. Cas did too, but only physically present. He could feel a headache brewing up due to the worry and stress about what had happened to Dean. Cas spent Saturday and Sunday roaming around his house aimlessly, not interested in eating or watching TV. All his mind was focused on was Dean. Dean singing, Dean asking his help for fixing the cycle chain, Dean talking to him about guitar chords, Dean sharing his pie with him, Dean, Dean, Dean, Dean…

Monday was the quickest he had ever gotten ready to school. He cycled fast to school, doing his usual ‘almost running over Bobby’ thing (which Bobby replied with a smack on the head as usual), parked his cycle and ran to his class. He was early as hell that day, not caring that he didn’t cycle with Charlie, Gabe, and Dean like usual. He was restless. He was sitting on his desk, then shifted to his chair, then sprawled his upper body on the desk, doing some crap, waiting for Dean to show.

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_Cas POV_

I was seeing Dean after 4 to 5 days and he was sick too. If I was the same person as I used to be, I would have run up to him and would have enquired about his health. But that day, I just couldn’t move. Something stopped me! Everyone was enquiring about his health, except me. I wanted to run towards him, hold his hand and ask, ‘What happened? Why did you not come all these days? Did you know how I suffered without you?’ But somehow, I couldn’t.

Dean was his usual cocky self, telling everyone he was a warrior and he was fine, but his body language exuded exhaustion. The teacher came in and everyone scrambled to their seats. She took one look at Dean and said, “You have a high fever. Why did you come to school?” Before Dean could tell her, he was ‘A-okay’, the teacher said, “You should be in your house taking rest.”

Meanwhile, all I was able to do was stare at his back. Wondering why I wasn’t able to go talk to him. And whether Dean was okay. The teacher was droning on about some announcements, but I couldn’t care less. Before I knew it, there was a pair of forest green eyes on me, smiling, and my heart started to beat fast. At that time, I did not know how to explain what that meant. But as far I could understand that smile was my first love. And the person who owned it was too.

I could not figure out what was happening within me, but I was overflowing with happiness. My heart was jumping for joy, and my breath was shortened. After that I could never converse normally with Dean. I felt shy and awkward. The minute I saw him, I searched for a place to hide. Dean noticed it too, and worried why I was not being myself. Whenever he approached me, I ran. Finally, I was cornered by Charlie, Dean behind with a victorious smirk at having finally caught me, but his eyes full of worry and concern.

I had to share my feelings with someone, and with my mom dead, and my dad… I couldn’t stop myself from telling Charlie. Charlie’s reaction was of shock. She spent few minutes looking between me and Dean, who was curious as to why Charlie was gaping like a fish. But I guess Dean caught it at the end. Then onwards it was all just eye contact. When distributing assignment sheets, instead a passing it around, Dean got up and distributed, for the sole purpose of making contact with me, smirking when my breath fastened. I had done bad on the assignment, but I knew why.

I thought no one would find out. But somehow Sam did. It was the smile he directed at me in the hallways. Looking at his brother then at me. Always wiggling his eyebrows at me. And Gabe got to know it from Sam. And the two spent time talking with one another about us. I did the stupid things 15 years old would do. I entered my name and Dean’s in a love test and hoped for it to be above 80 and jumped when I got a whopping 100%. I tried to check whether we’d be friends, lovers, acquaintances, married, or enemies through that stupid game F.L.A.M.E.s but chickened out when the last two options were F and L.

I guess Dean was tired of not talking with me, or tired of me just staring at him. After chemistry lab, when everyone was leaving, Dean pulled me back into the room. I looked out to see Gabe being dragged to the side by as red hair swayed in front of him, disappearing by the wall near the door. My face was then forced to face Dean as he grabbed it.

“What?” He challenged. I looked anywhere but his eyes as I shook my head. “You’ve been distracted for the past few days. You have been avoiding me. You wanna ask me something?” I looked at Dean. His eyes were hopeful. “Anything?” I shook my head as I looked at the ground, really fascinated by the marble tiles in the lab. “Are you scared?” Dean asked.

I got a quick glance of Dean and looked to the ground again, swallowing air. “Shall I leave then?” Dean asked. I shook my head to show my approval. Dean cast a weird look at me before leaving, but I was able to catch the hint of a starting smile. I looked at his back as he left the room, slowly with a bounce in his walk. As soon as Dean walked out, Gabe ran in asking me if I said something, while Charlie asked the same to Dean.

“No.” I could hear Dean say. What I didn’t see was him mouthing to Charlie that I was a scaredy-cat, which Gabe told me, and I agreed.

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“Why are you all so loud?” The teacher asked, which quietened the class. “Dean.” She said and that was all the signal. It meant Dean was going to sing.

Cas nudged Gabe hard with his elbow. “WHAT?!” He whisper-exclaimed.

“Ask him to sing Falling in Love Elvis.” Cas whispered back.

Gabe groaned then whisper-yelled, “Dean!”, getting his attention. “He’s asking you to sing Falling in Love by Elvis.”

Dean smiled at Cas before nodding at Gabe and getting up. Cas eagerly waited for Dean to get his guitar and get to the front of the classroom to sing Cas’ favorite song. Dean strummed his guitar for a while, before he sang.

_“Big wheels keep on turning… Carry me home to see my kin…”_

Cas’ face fell at that. Dean wasn’t singing the song he asked for. He glared at Gabe who raised his hands in a ‘I didn’t do anything’ manner. Cas turned back to see Dean staring at him with a cocky smile, challenging him. Cas looked down to his table but knew one thing. He was getting Dean to sing his favorite song one way or another.

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“He’s asking you to sing Falling in Love by Elvis.” Jo said to Dean.

“No, he didn’t.” Dean replied and walked away. Before he turned the corner, he looked back and spotted Cas behind the pillar he was hiding and smirked the same he did in class.

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“Dude, just sing the damn song!” Sam yelled at his brother. “Cas stole my book and wants you to sing the song he asked for.” He grumbled.

“No, he didn’t.” Dean replied and spotted Cas standing far from where the two were and left the place.

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“I don’t understand what’s so special about that song.” Charlie grumbled as she slid into the chair near Dean. “He’s been asking you repeatedly, so many times, to sing that song, right? Why don’t you just sing it bitch.” She shoved Dean’s hand.

Dean got up as the teacher called him. “Um Cher,” Benny said as he went to get his guitar, “Fan request. Falling in Love by Elvis. Please.”

Dean turned to find Cas scowling at the tabletop, and not meeting his eyes. But Cas could see what Dean was doing in his peripheral vision. Dean then turned to Benny and smiled, “Mr. Messenger,” he motioned Benny to bend down, who did so, “Please go tell that special fan that songs are played in the radios only when the fans request it directly.” Dean then turned to Cas, who was now looking up, and smiled before getting to the front of the class.

“Benny!” Cas whisper called. Benny turned to Cas who raised his thumbs up and asked, “Okayed?” Benny just gave him a look before sitting. Cas lowered his hands in slight embarrassment but looked to Dean, hoping he was going to sing the song at last.

Dean looked at Cas, direct eye contact, and smiled secretly before he started singing, _“I pulled into Nazareth, was feelin’ about half past dead…”_

Cas breathed out air as his face turned into a ‘Really?!’ expression.

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_Cas POV_

After that, I tried so many different methods to ask him, but he never sang that song. That stubborn idiot!

The month was now January. It was a tradition in our school – who started, no one knew – the birthday person shares chocolates with their classmates, and could wear anything, uniform not mandatory. It was weird, because the birthday person should be treated with gifts, not be the treater, but it was a thing.

I was standing outside my class when Dean walked in, dressed in a tight grey Henley shirt, and grey jeans. Though I was busy staring at him from outside, my hearing caught what Dean and Charlie were talking about.

“Happy birthday bitch!” Charlie ran to Dean, almost jumping on him, but stopped when he raised a box of chocolates.

“Thank you, Red. Have some.” He pushed the box front. “So, where’s he?” Charlie returned Dean’s smirk as she side-eyed, revealing my hiding spot. I was about to tail and run when Sam came in front of me. He was a giant, so I turned to find a different way to run but Gabe blocked my only option. The two smiled evilly before pushing me inside the class.

My stumbling got Dean’s attention. I turned back, but the two hauled my ass and dragged me to where Dean and Charlie were discussing where he had bought his clothes. As soon as Gabe and Sam dropped me behind Dean, Charlie smiled before telling Dean to turn around. I looked to my left and right to find Charlie and Gabe standing, and my back covered by Sam, and Dean was right in front of me. I had no escape.

“Have a chocolate.” Dean pushed his box front, demanding to take one. But I startled. I moved back, tripping on air and fell on the ground. Gabe, Sam, and Charlie helped me up, and Dean was still extending his box towards me with a serious face, but his eyes twinkled with amusement. I quickly grabbed one and put it in my pocket, returning my gaze to the floor. I tried running away, but the three held me in place.

Dean’s lips curled up in amusement, before he schooled his features back to seriousness. “Take another one.” He raised his box of chocolate to me.

“N-n-no… it-t-t’s o-ok-ka-ay.” I unintelligently stuttered, trying to catch my breath and reply to Dean. I was feeling like I had run the track course 50 times consecutively with no breaks.

“You are a growing child Cas; how will one be enough?” Dean said in an amused tone. I looked to him with a stoic face, Sam, Gabe, and Charlie still restraining me. “Take another one.” Dean demanded.

I looked to my right, glaring at Gabe, who whispered to Sam, “Don’t let him go, or else he will hit me.” Dean let out a silent chuckle at that looking to his brother then at me, his hands still raised with the box of chocolates.

I took another one and stammered out a ‘Thank you.’

“Thank you?” Dean questioned in a mocking tone. “Is that it? What is the occasion today?” I looked at his face before looking at my feet. “Aren’t you forgetting something?” Dean asked with an incredulous look.

“H – h – h – ha – hap – hap…” I was stopped from stammering as Dean asked.

“Happy …?” Why the hell was it hard to breathe? I tried to speak, breath, but nothing.

I took a while to get some air before rushing out, “HappyBirthday.” Dean looked me up and down before replying with a simple thanks. I started to breath fast at that one word.

Dean looked at me with worry before asking. “Why are you sweating so much? What did anyone do to you now?” I gently shoved Sam, Gabe, and Charlie’s restrain on me, as it felt confining.

“Hey! Cassie’s a sportsman. That’s why he’s sweating.” Charlie replied and hit my chest. “Isn’t that right?” She asked before her face turned into confusion and worry.

Dean looked between me and Charlie then asked, “What happened?”

“Why is your heart beating so fast?” Charlie asked me. I couldn’t answer.

“What happened?!” Dean asked again with more urgency to his voice.

And Charlie just had to reply, “Just keep your hands and check for yourself.” She replaced her hand with Dean’s and that was it. My heart was going to explode at the speed it was beating. Dean’s eyes, and hand on me did it. My vision became blurry as I fell back, as it finally became dark.

Yep, I fainted.

Charlie couldn’t understand why I was so fascinated by Dean that I fainted. Dean couldn’t understand what he had done for someone to be so madly in love with him! But I, Castiel, had no such confusion, even in that exhausted state. My focus was solely always on Dean.

After that day, stealing glances became a routine. I used to steal glances of him, but mostly got caught by Sam, Gabe, especially Charlie who always told him to look somewhere else.

“If I get married to Dean, you know what my name will be?” I asked one day to Gabe. “Castiel Winchester.”

“Oooh! DEAN! DEA- oomph!” I slammed my hand on Gabe’s mouth and dragged him away.

Everything was moving along smoothly. Me spending time with Bobby, Dean spending time with Bobby because I spent time with him. Dean splitting his sandwich and passing it along a long line of classmates and waiting till it reached me before eating. Us sharing secret smiles and stealing glances at one another. It was just awesome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dean taunting Cas is just awesome :)  
> Thoughts? Comments?


	4. They meet!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to the Future!! (Or present... lol)

Finals had started and since they were in the 10th grade, they had to pass our SEE examinations to get into Senior High. Even during exams, the two stole glances of one another. But the last exam, final day of school was different. 2 months of not seeing each other was just unbearable to think of.

“So, Dean,” Gabe had said as we were walking to their cycles, “our holidays start from tomorrow. I wonder, how you’re going to stay without seeing me for 2 months.” He said in a teasing tone. Cas looked at Dean who smiled back at me before looking to the front.

“Yo Cas!” Sam called but Charlie tsked.

“What is this behavior Sammy? Still addressing him by his name.” Charlie said. “You have all the rights to address him as your brother-in-law!!!”

Dean perked up at that and kissed Charlie’s cheek before turning back to the front. As Cas blushed, the three laughed and continued walking to the cycle parking lot, leaving Dean and Cas behind. Dean and Cas turned to face each other and smiled shyly. They didn’t speak the whole time they cycled.

They stopped at the road that split into a bridge and a different road, the former leading to Cas’ home, while the latter to Dean’s. Dean and Cas looked at each other, like they have been doing for the past months, before Dean spoke up.

“Okay then, I will leave now.” Those words hit Cas like a train. This was real. 2 months of not seeing each other. He looked down at the ground, his face fallen. Dean looked at Cas, hoping he would at least say a word or look at him… nothing. With a heavy sigh Dean sat back on his cycle and peddled forward.

Cas stood there for a while on his cycle, fiddling with his cycle handle and bell before shaking himself and settling back onto his cycle. As he cycled, he looked back, hoping something would happen… but nothing. He cycled with a forlorn look before stopping midway on the bridge. He was contemplating but didn’t know what to contemplate about. He was having a dilemma but what was that dilemma about.

All his thoughts came to a halt as he heard a familiar cycle ringing. His face brightened hopefully, then surely as Dean drifted in front of him, stopping his cycle. Cas got of his cycle as Dean did the same. He then walked towards Cas and cupped his face. “Don’t faint on me.” Dean said before his hands slid to Cas’ hands. He wrapped them around his waist, looking at Cas, who was surprisingly calm. Dean then placed his palm on Cas’ chest before kissing him.

And it was the calmest Cas has ever been. He expected to die due to kissing, instead, his rapidly beating heart calmed, the blood rush calmed, his breathing calmed. Dean was his calm. All Cas could feel was Dean’s lips moving against his, and the sound of birds chirping, trees rustling, water rushing… It was all music to his ears. They had a newfound meaning. And this moment was something Cas wanted to capture and enjoy forever.

Dean pulled back, his closed eyes opening as he peered at Cas’ opening eyes. Dean then smirked before getting an ink pen out of his pocket and flicking ink all over his shirt. Cas smiled awkwardly, not understanding why Dean had done that, but felt some kind of happiness that he did.

“Don’t forget me.” Dean said as he moved back to his cycle. And Cas, for the first time in ages, looked at Dean eye-to-eye and prolonged the stare for a long time. It was exhilarating. Cas shook his head to say, ‘never will I forget you’ and Dean understood. Dean cycled forward and stopped near Cas. “Happy holidays!” He smiled happily, which Cas returned gladly, before Dean cycled off, and Cas stared at his disappearing silhouette.

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_August 4, 2020_

Cas was pacing back and forth behind the bounce house. He peaked out before shuffling his foot to totally hide his body behind the bounce castle.

Sam, Gabe, and Charlie were giving Cas weird looks, before Charlie turned to the other two and asked, “How do you know he’s coming?”

“Dude… I am his brother.” Sam said.

“Yeah, but isn’t he in Australia? Touring his band or some shit.” Charlie asked.

“It was a sudden thing this morning.” Gabe said. “We both were asking whether he was gonna come or not for the past 2 months.”

“And with his band touring schedule still unplanned, we couldn’t talk much.” Sam said. “But this morning he sent a message saying he got a free day and will come for the reunion and take the first flight back.”

“You didn’t share it with me!” Charlie let out in mock outrage.

“Calm down Char.” Gabe chuckled. “He had to come from Australia. Thought I’d just wait till he reaches here. Not give false hope.”

The three turned back to find Cas out from his hiding spot, fiddling with a balloon. “Look at him, still behaving like a 10th grade kid.” Charlie said as Sam was motioning Cas to join them.

“Only thing missing is our uniform.” Gabe mused as Cas motioned, he was fine with where he was. Sam was telling something to Cas, for which he glared and went back in hiding.

There was some yelling and the 3 turned to see the source of it. A car had stopped in front of their venue and the staffs were crowding around the car, looking down at it. Everyone looked confused at the chaos. Gabe quickly ran to the entrance, shooing the staffs off. Everyone looked curiously as to who Gabe was bringing in. The first thing they all saw was the leather jacket, then the man’s face.

“Hey Dean, how are you?!” Everyone got up to welcome him, as Gabe walked away with Dean’s guitar bag and duffle. After enough chit-chat, Dean gave a bag of chocolate to a kid nearby and said. “Take this and share with everyone, okay?” The kid nodded shyly before running off to the bounce house.

Dean turned to find Sam standing in front of him. “Heya Sammy,” Dean smiled as he ruffled his not-so little brother’s hair. “Sorry, the plane got delayed.”

Sam responded by enveloping his brother in a bear hug and saying, “You at least came, and that’s more than enough.” Dean laughed at that as he pulled back, his eyes catching a familiar redhead. As he walked towards her, he saw Gabriel, “Finally I’ve come. You happy now? Insistent piece of shit.”

“Fuck off.” Gabriel retorted.

Dean ignored him as he walked up to Charlie. “Hey Red.” He smiled, and she burst out in tears, hugging Dean hard. Dean chuckled at his sister’s _(family doesn’t end in blood)_ act and said, “Can’t breathe Red! And stop crying. I’ve got an image to keep up with.”

Charlie pulled back laughing as she punched his arm. “How you been bitch?”

“I am fine. How are you? And how’s my niece?” Dean asked pointing to her stomach.

“Everyone’s fine.” Charlie replied. “Come, sit!”

“I never expected so many of them to come.” Dean said as he slid in his chair. “All your doing I see?” Dean poked Gabe’s belly, who waved his hand dismissively.

“Even I didn’t expect it.” Sam said. “I thought they would just nod in agreement and then ditch us.” Charlie added. “Like Jo.” She chuckled.

“Thank goodness I had organized for some extra food.” Sam said. “Everyone has come!”

“Gabe has had so many ice creams from the time we came.” Charlie laughed, and Dean did too. “Just ask him how many…” She trailed off as she saw Dean’s eyes look around the venue, more like search. Charlie turned to Sam and motioned him to get Cas out. Sam bitchfaced before getting up and moving for the bounce house.

Dean looked to where his brother was going but Charlie distracted him with her unstoppable talking.

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Sam found Cas playing drums on the balloon he had, staring at the night sky. Sam hit Cas’ back to call him, but Cas startled, bursting the balloon with his bare hands. Sam jumped back, as Cas turned with all his fury towards Sam. “IDI- Idiot!” Cas whisper-yelled, looking around to see if anyone heard him.

“Why are you behaving like a kid? Standing here with a balloon.” Sam teased. “Come.” Sam went to get ahold of Cas’ hand, but Cas swatted it away.

“You go.”

“Dude, just come.”

“No.” Cas shook his head adamantly, “You go.”

“Dean’s here Cas.” Sam said in a soft tone. “Come.”

“No. You go.” Cas pushed Sam away before turning around. Sam rubbed his chest and groaned. He walked back to the table and as soon as he reached, Dean asked.

“Where did you go Sammy?” Sam shared a look with Gabe and Charlie. “What happened?” Dean asked.

“Nothing wrong…” Charlie trailed off before hesitantly saying. “Um… Cas is here.”

As soon as Charlie said those 3 words, Dean’s face changed from curious to expectant and hopeful. He heard Charlie say, ‘He is hiding over there.’ But all Dean’s mind focused on was where Charlie was pointing at, his whole focus on that bounce house. Dean got up and walked towards the bounce house, his mind distant.

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_1999 – Dean’s POV_

I excitedly ran out of my house, with my usual gear. I slid into Baby, my dad’s Impala (now mine as I turned 16) and took off for school. I parked my car in the parking lot – not before showing it off to Bobby and others - and walked into the building, all happy and excited. I ignored everyone’s ‘Hi’s as I ran through the hallway, trying to find my classroom. As soon as I found it, I dashed in, only to be attacked by my moose of a brother Sam, and Gabriel, and Charlie.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I asked Sam.

“Samsquatch bounced 2 more grades.” Gabe said proudly as he slung his hand over Sam’s shoulder.

“That’s awesome!” Dean said. “But weird at the same time. Spending class time with my brother.” I said. I then looked around, trying to find the one person I had waited for the last 2 months. Hoping to see him, hug him, kiss him, and maybe more. I found him nowhere. Before I could ask, the teacher came in and everyone scrambled to their seats.

As the teacher took attendance, my eyes were on the door. Hoping for Cas to walk in at some time. The teacher ended calling names and that’s when I realized.

“Castiel’s name didn’t come up.” Gabe addressed the teacher.

“I am sorry, but these were all the names I have in my register.” The teacher replied before going back to do her work. All of my excitement, happiness, cheeriness started to slowly drain out of me.

“Hey,” Charlie said softly, getting my attention to her, “He’s maybe in another class.” I gave her a tight smile but knew something was wrong.

Sam, Gabe, Charlie, and I walked around to see if Cas was somewhere. Anywhere. I was desperate enough to even get Charlie to check the ladies’ restroom. He was nowhere. I did the first thing that came to my mind. I ran to the principal’s office and met with the secretary, asking her if she knew anything about Cas.

“Hmmm… Aha!” She exclaimed as she found his data. “He has already taken his Transfer Certificate.” She registered our shocked faces and asked. “Did you not know?”

“Why would have he taken the TC?” Sam asked. They all returned to their classroom for recess. “Gabe do you know anything?”

“I promise I don’t know anything.” Gabe said. “I just came back from my vacation this morning.”

“Why? Without telling us that too?” Charlie asked. “Just can’t understand…” She trailed off as she saw unhidden fear and worry in my face.

“Hey, nothing to worry!” Sam said to me. “We’ll go to his house in the evening,” he pointed to Gabe and himself, “then everything will be clear.”

“I stole the address from the database before you ask.” Gabe said. I nodded to the three, putting on a tight smile.

That evening Sam and Gabe went to his house, only to find it locked.

“Kids!” They heard a voice call us. “What are you doing there? It’s locked.” An old man said.

“Isn’t there anyone in the house?” Gabe asked.

“Oh, it’s a sad story. How do I tell you that?” The old man pitied.

The next day I heard it from the two.

“Apparently his dad was already in a lot of debt and wasn’t able to return the money, so they had to sell the house.” Gabe said.

“It was a family heirloom.” Sam hesitated. “So, his dad did not want anyone to know.”

“That’s why they packed their bags overnight and left. Where? We don’t know.” Gabe said.

“No one knows anything else. Really sad. Cas came to know about it only that night. There had been a huge fight, Cas yelling at his dad for being an alcoholic gambling addict. But Cas being a minor had to move with his dad.” Sam said.

I had not talked with my friends and brother after that. At school, I didn’t eat. Cas wasn’t there to share my sandwich. I just sat there, in the café long table, tears falling from my eyes. Going home, I didn’t talk with my parents. I shut myself in my room and just stared at the wall. I wanted to cry but I couldn’t, wanted to scream but couldn’t. But I was able to lift my pen and write.

_Why did he leave without saying anything?  
Why did he not close yesterday’s chapter?  
In the grey skies, I search for my clouds.  
The time is like a riddle, my path is filled with tears._

_Far away it has gone, the music of love.  
Every tear that drops, is my prayer in search.  
He left the town I heard, my eyes looked here and there  
He left my very roots I realized, that truth caused mayhem within._

_The music’s over. Where is your silence?  
The burden of tears is becoming my eternal companion.  
Tomorrow seems to burn. Where is my morning?  
Wings are filled with rocks. Till I die on the ground._

I wrote my first song and composed it. After getting a contract, I sold it. Got money. But I didn’t get my happiness back. Days became months and months became years. I had joined Manhattan School of Music to improve my skills but still mourned my blossomed love, that didn’t have a chance to wither because someone plucked it.

It took some time for me. End of my university precisely, to find happiness again through different forms and try to move my pain to the subconscious. My mom, my dad, Sammy, Gabe, and Charlie were the ones who helped me get better, but that pain was still there.

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_August 4, 2020_

Dean got up and walked towards the bounce house, his mind now not distant. He was hoping to see Cas again. Just to talk with him, spend time with him. He walked around the bounce house to find a man in a tan trench coat, with a suit on. He wasn’t able to see his face, as their back was facing him.

Dean walked closer and could see the man mumbling something to himself akin to ‘calm down’ and pressing his heart. “Cas?” Dean asked.

“Huh?” Cas said then turned around. The two locked eyes, looking at each other. Dean looked hot in that leather jacket and ripped jeans. Crap, Cas had to control himself.

“How are you Cas?” Dean asked like he really wanted to know.

“Uh- um I am fine… How are you?” Cas asked quickly.

“I’m good.” Dean said. “Unbelievable right? That we’d meet like this?” He asked a beat later.

“Yes, it is.”

“20 years Cas! Well 22 years.” Dean looked at Cas, trying to see how all the baby fat from his face now turned to sharp jawlines. “Nice peach fuzz.” He chuckled. “I can’t recognize you at all! When we saw each other the last time, you did not even have a moustache.”

As Dean was speaking, Cas was trying to get his breath under control, looking anywhere but Dean. He can’t help but feel like he did 2 decades ago.

“How’s travel photography going on?”

“It’s – um – it’s – huh – it’s been going good.” Cas said as his heart began speeding up, a tell-tale sign of his diminishing consciousness. Dean could hear the rhythmic beating of Cas' heart. He hesitated before raising his hand and putting it on Cas' chest. and the same thing that happened 2 decades ago happened.

Cas fainted.

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“Get your paws off me Gabe!” Cas grunted as Gabe was rubbing his back, apparently getting air to flow through him.

“You keep quiet!” Charlie said to Cas and turned to Dean. “I left Dreamy Eyes with you for 5 minutes and look what you did.”

“Nothing to worry, April. I will take care.” Sam said to April, who was now a doctor. Cas fainting had gotten people’s attention. Sam brought a glass of water and kept it near Cas. “Drink it.” Cas did so. “You’re ok right?” Cas nodded.

“He’s come after so many years and this is what you do!” Charlie lightly punched Cas’ arm.

“I slipped… and fell.” Cas said but by the noises of acknowledgement (“Yeah”, “Sure”, and an indignant scoff), Cas knew they didn’t believe his crap excuse.

“Did he say anything to you or the minute he saw you, he…” Gabe trailed off as he looked to Dean, waving his hand to convey ‘fall’.

Dean looked at Cas, who apologized for whatever happened in one word.

“He’s come all the way from Australia.” Sam said. “Can’t you at least talk with him? Instead of acting like a kid.”

But Cas knew everything about Dean. What was there to ask? Dean was a Rockstar, worldwide fans and goes on tours. His first song was loosely based off Cas, and the following songs too.

“He’s married and has a son. Did you ask him about all that?” Charlie asked. Well that Cas didn’t know about. He looked up and found Dean staring somewhere else. He quickly looked back down, not noticing Dean turn towards him.

There was a weird tension around the table and Dean didn’t like it. “Did yall eat?” He asked as a distraction.

“Why have you not eaten?” Sam asked. “Don’t they provide food in the plane?”

“You know I don’t eat anything on flights. Stupid airline food.” Dean said as Cas go up and walked away. The 4 looked at him, Dean’s face falling.

“Um… Gabe! Sam! Why don’t you guys race to the tree and see who goes first?” Charlie said. “If you find out, run again for safety measures.”

“What?” Gabe said but Sam dragged him away, leaving Charlie and Dean alone in the table.

“Hey! What is going on?” Charlie asked Dean, whose eyes were focused on what Cas was doing. “Dean this is not right! I am warning you.” She hissed, getting Dean’s attention back on her.

Dean responded with kissing Charlie’s cheek sloppily. As Charlie rubbed the wet off her face, Dean said. “Red, walk slowly and go touch that tree. If you touch it, walk again for safety measures.” Dean smirked. Charlie gave him an incredulous look before getting up and walking away, as Dean’s eyes went back to looking at Cas.

Cas was filling his tray with the buffet food, wiping off dripping gravy, and aligning the apple pie properly as he walked back to the table. He met with an annoyed Charlie but ignored her as he went to give the tray to Dean and sit on the opposite side of him. But Dean wasn’t having it. He got up with the tray and sat near Cas, asking, “Are you not eating?”

“No, you eat.” Cas smiled at Dean before looking at the table, ignoring the warmth radiating from Dean. He was a married man Castiel!

Charlie came back and Dean glared at her. “Phone.” She replied with a glare of her own before retrieving her phone and leaving. The two waited for Charlie to leave before turning to the table.

Cas stared at Dean’s lips as he ate the food, he had got for him. That was weird, so Cas took a deep breath to calm himself down before looking around, distracting himself from the noises coming from Dean. The first thing that caught Cas’ eye was Cole wiggling his eyebrows and smiling knowingly, looking between him and Dean. Cas glared at him, but Cole returned it with a thumbs up. Not knowing what to do, Cas stole a quick glance of Dean before looking at the ground.

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Charlie sitting with Benny and Victor, talking about something when her phone rang. At the caller ID, she turned around to find Gabe and Sam hiding behind a tree. ‘Attend the call!’ Sam mouthed and Charlie did. “Hello sir?” She said, to be discreet.

“Dude! What is this?” Gabe said pointing to Dean and Cas. “They seem to be heading somewhere.”

“Yes sir.” Charlie said after getting a quick glance of the two. “I noticed too.” Benny and Victor were clueless to the convo going between the three through the phone.

“Looks like they have picked up from where they left at school!” Sam exclaimed worriedly.

“Yes sir, even I feel the same.” Charlie smiled at Benny who turned to check on her.

“Hope it doesn’t cause any problems.” Gabe said. “The two being known figures. And one married!”

“We come imagining one thing and something else happens.” Sam grumbled.

“Nothing like that will happen sir.” Charlie said. “Don’t you worry. I will keep an eye on it.”

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Dean was still eating, and Cas was just sitting there, the two silent. Dean thought for a while before he lifted his tray and pushed it to Cas. “Huh?” Cas startled at the sudden clanging of plates.

“You haven’t eaten yet right?” Cas shook his head. “Here. Have this.” Dean said, placing the tray in front of Cas. Cas took the tray and gave a tissue to Dean. “Hmm, thanks.” Dean said taking it and wiping his mouth, as Cas started eating, conscious that they were sharing food like old times, that he was going eat from the same plate as Dean, share the same spoon and stuff.

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“Hey,” Charlie was now standing near Sam and Gabe, “What is happening over there?”

“How would I know?” The two said in sync. “Nothing wrong will happen right?” Sam asked.

“I am not thinking about that.” Gabe mused.

“Then?” Charlie asked.

“If something happens between these two here and Dean’s wife back in Australia gets to know. If three of us being the organizers get caught…” Gabe trailed off.

“Then we are screwed.” Sam ended Gabe’s thought, rubbing his hand over his face. Lisa was ok but her dad Zach was someone you did not want to mess with. With his status and shit.

The three looked back at Dean and Cas, who were stealing glances of one other, while Cas ate his food, and Dean fiddled with a tissue.


	5. Hi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang spend some time... Destiel spend more :)

“I thank all of you who have come.” Gabe said, standing in the elevated platform in the front near the tree with ‘2000’ hanging off from it. “I have something to say to those who have not come. You have missed a beautiful opportunity in life. We don’t know when and where something like this will happen again. Finally, on behalf of our class, the class of 2000, I invite our class favorite Dean, onto the stage to say a few words.”

“Our Golden Boy! Our Rockstar! Our Prince!” Benny and Victor yelled getting everyone to laugh and Dean give a flustered glare at the two.

Dean took the microphone from Gabe and cleared his throat. “I’m so happy. I feel I have become half my age. I came here thinking everything and everyone would have changed. Or act different with me.” Dean subtly looked to Cas, who sat up straighter and secretly smiled. “But nothing has changed. I feel like wearing my blue and white uniform and want to go to school with all of you again.” Sam, Charlie, and Gabe smiled at Dean’s words. “Thanks.” Dean said as he felt his eyes tear up. Before he could leave the stage, someone yelled his name out.

“DEAN!” It was Robin. “Sing a song before you leave!” And a cacophony of ‘yes’ followed that comment, the kids joining not knowing what was going on.

“I just ate ice cream.” Dean said, a lame excuse as he was trying to leave.

“No one’s giving you a prize darling.” Pamela retorted. “Sing!”

Dean’s face turned soft as he accepted to sing. As he went to get his guitar, Cas brightened and turned to Gabe. “Gabe! Gabe! Gabe! Gabe!” He whisper-called. Gabe turned to him, raising his eyebrow, asking what Cas wanted. “Falling in Love! Elvis!” Gabe’s face turned sour, but Cas didn’t relent. “Please please please ask him!”

Gabe groaned and turned towards Dean hesitantly. Before he could suggest, Dean started singing. _“Once I was seven years old…’”_

Cas smiled as Dean sang. Sure, it wasn’t the song he wanted but he was seeing Dean sing after a long time. He has listened to all of Dean’s albums, and watched his performances, but looking at it live was a different feel. Cas didn’t know why his eyes were tearing up, but Dean singing was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

After that there was more mingling. They cut a cake that was shaped in 2-0-0-0 each number a different flavor, took selfies and photos. Dean went and talked with the girls he had gotten closer with during the last 2 years of his high school. But it didn’t stop him from taking glances of Cas who was in middle of the crowd of kids that were wowing at his photos.

The class talked with each other, in groups and in pairs, but Dean and Cas never got a chance to talk with each other. Sam, Gabe, and Charlie noticed the longing looks shared between the two but pretended to not see as they didn’t know what they could do. Sam didn’t want to accept it but the way they looked at each other was mixed with heat, desire, and loneliness… he was scared of what was going to happen.

A while later everyone left, except for Sam, Gabe, Charlie, Dean and Cas. “Shall we leave?” Gabe asked after a long silence.

“Sure, I’ll call the cab.” Sam said. But Dean stopped him and gave him a look. “No, you didn’t.” Sam groaned. “Did you seriously ship out Baby for this?!” Dean smirked and walked way, Gabe and Sam following.

“Charlie?” Cas called as the two walked behind, “Who’s Baby?”

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“She is beautiful Dean.” Cas said as he grazed his hand over the roof of the Impala.

“Ugh not you too Cas.” Sam groaned at Cas using the pronoun without even being informed. He turned to find Dean staring at Cas in a way Sam didn’t want to see. “Ummm Lets leave yeah!” Sam quickly said as he looked around. Gabe and Charlie understood and nodded before sliding into the backseat. Dean took the driver seat and looked hopefully at Cas. Cas smiled and was about to take shotgun when Sam yelled, “Dibs on shotgun!” The moose tackled Cas away from opening the passenger door and slid into the car.

As soon as he settled, Dean smacked his brother’s head and glared. “Bitch.”

“Jerk.” Sam retorted automatically as Cas settled in the backseat. “So, where we going?”

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“The pies are still awesome Missouri!” Dean moaned as he took another bite.

“Boy keep your voice down. PG Levels.” She smacked his head as the others laughed. “It’s so good to see my kids after a long time.”

“You too Missouri.” Cas smiled at her. The 5 of them always met here whenever they hung out. From here, they used to cycle around, have their own made up Tour de France, and do crazy shit. If Bobby was their father figure, Missouri was their mother figure. Along with Jo’s mom Ellen.

“You all enjoy. I am going back to sleep.” Missouri said. “Shut the door and hide the key under the flowerpot outside.”

“Goodnight Missouri!” The 5 greeted as Missouri waved her hand dismissively before returning to her house, which was above the bakery.

“So, when’s you return flight Dean?” Charlie asked.

“Tomorrow, but from Pontiac, Illinois.” Dean said. “That was the closest and fastest flight I could get.”

“You should have come for a 4 to 5 day stay you know.” Gabe said.

Dean looked at Cas and said, “I too wanna do that now.” Cas looked up as he felt eyes on him and locked a stare with Dean.

Unaware of the look Sam said, “Then why don’t you? The tour ended right?”

“It did but I promised Ben I will be there for him.” Dean said.

“It’s been a while since I saw Ben.” Sam mused.

Dean quickly got his phone out and said “Here ya go Sammy.”

Sam took the phone from Dean, Gabe peeking over to see him. “Hey gimme it!” Charlie ordered as she was sitting opposite to the two. Cas was eager to but waited for the phone to come to him. As soon as the phone reached Charlie, Cas peeped in too.

“He’s cute.” Charlie mused as she gave the phone back to Dean. Cas slumped, not able to see the picture.

“He’s got his uncle’s looks.” Gabe said winking at Sam. But Dean didn’t comment anything as he was looking at Cas who was almost pouting.

“Here you go.” Dean said as he gave the phone to Cas, who took it, and was looking at Ben with adoration in his eyes. Cas couldn’t get his eyes of Ben. He was an exact replica of his father. It was like- “Looking at me during school times, huh?” Dean ended Cas’ thought.

“Yeah.” Cas breathed out as he gave the phone back to Dean.

“Everyone says that.” Dean smiled.

“This is why Cas,” Charlie started, “you should get married at the right time. Give us another Dreamy Eyes!” The other three chuckled as Dean turned confused.

“He’s not married?”

“Not dating too.” Gabe said as Cas shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

Sam looked at the table as he saw the situation unfolding. He wanted to get Gabe and Charlie quiet but there was no stopping them. Charlie was spewing facts as to why Cas wasn’t in the dating life. “Who will want to date a drifter? Or even marry one? Marriage is all about settling down isn’t it?” The two laughed, not noticing the storm brewing on Dean’s face.

“Why are you not married Cas? Or not dating?” He demanded Cas, Charlie and Gabe now recognizing the shit storm they had brewed.

Cas chuckled nervously. “That is…” Cas trailed off smiling and looking around, especially Sam with pleading eyes. Sam didn’t know what to do. “Because…” Cas went on not knowing what to say. “Ahem…”

“Yo Cas,” Sam said, “Why don’t you get the car out?” Sam nicked Dean’s pocket for the Impala keys and threw it to Cas. “We’ll join.”

“Okay! Okay!” Cas caught the key and dashed out, not noticing Dean’s scowl directed towards Sam.

“You guys finished your drinks, right?” Sam directed to Gabe and Charlie. The two nodded. “Go out and get the car, Gabe.” Gabe nodded and left. “Charlie you are going with Dean and Cas, right?

“Yeah. Dorothy’s picking me up in Kansas City for our getaway to Toronto. Which is on the way to Pontiac.” Charlie rambled nervously.

“Good. Leave.” Sam glared at her, who nodded and left.

Sam got up but was pushed down to his seat. “Dude what the hell?!” Dean punched Sam in his arm as he asked. “What’s wrong with Cas? I am asking a question here! And yall just leave?” Dean scowled. “What gives?”

“Um…” Sam started but the rumble of Impala distracted Dean.

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Charlie was sitting in the backseat. Dean in the passenger seat and Cas driving. She was relaying info to Sam and Gabe who were driving back to California. Dor and her were then going on a vacation to Toronto, on a pilgrimage for amusement parks. Charlie and Dorothy lived in New York, but they had had a convention in Kansas City for their new introduced game. Charlie should have joined as the co-programmer but she finished her meeting the day before so she could meet with her classmates.

Sam and Gabe had told her to keep an eye on Dean and Cas that they don’t do something stupid. The two being famous (semi-famous as Sam says), they would be on the tabloids ASAP. Moreover, Lisa would not be having any of this shit, and like Gabe said, the three would be blamed too. Right now, the car was tense. Sam was surprised Dean didn’t care Cas was driving the car but at the same time, when he was 16 and got their dad’s Impala, Dean’s first thought was to get Cas to drive.

Dean and Cas, now, were not talking with one another. The tension was high in the car. They reached Kansas City, and found Dorothy standing with their yellow AMC Gremlin. Cas slowed the car and the three got down. Dorothy went to talk with Dean, continuing their debate about Loki’s death in Infinity War from the last time they met. Meanwhile, Charlie dragged Cas away from the two, who were focused on proving the other wrong.

“I am warning you to drop him in his hotel and to go home!” Charlie said as she twisted Cas’ ear, who hissed in pain. “I can’t deal with Zach blacklisting us all!”

“Don’t have unnecessary thoughts Charlie!” Cas jeered back. “I will just talk with him for old time sake.” Cas smiled wistfully and excitedly.

“Get lost then.” Charlie said. Cas beamed and perked up. “Stop grinning like an idiot.”

“Castiel!” Dorothy appeared to Charlie’s side. “It’s so good to meet you finally in person.”

“Likewise.” Cas smiled at her. He now remembered why Dorothy looked familiar but didn’t know how to bring it up.

“Char it’s time for us to leave… and also it takes them 6 hours to go to Pontiac.” Dorothy said. Charlie nodded and walked to Dean. “I wish we can meet again, and talk.” Dorothy told to Cas.

Meanwhile Dean and Charlie were hugging. “Be careful Red. Take care of my niece.” Dean warned.

“Yeah, yeah bitch.” Charlie said dismissively. “Will let you know once the baby is born.”

Dean leaned and kissed Charlie’s forehead before moving back to the car. “Bye.” He said before sliding in.

“Well it looks like you will get there in no time huh. It was nice talking with you.” Dorothy said as Cas and her walked to the cars. “I’ll get the car going.” Dorothy said before waving at Cas and Dean who were in the car and leaving.

“Bye.” Charlie said as she gave a warning look to Cas. Cas smiled mischievously and winked at her. “No! Cas!” Charlie yelled but he took off in high speed before she could yell at him. “ITS ANNOYING YOU’VE GOT THOSE BEAUTIFUL DREAMY EYES!” Charlie yelled at the disappearing car, before grumbling and getting into hers.

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“Hello Dean.” Cas said smiling at him. He was driving fast, more than the speed limit, but he had found this abandoned route from Kansas to Illinois long ago that actually quartered the travelling time. They were going to reach in 1.5 hours.

“He talks!” Dean beamed. “So, you will talk to me only if the others aren’t around, huh?” Cas looked away, trying to dim his growing smile, not noticing Dean’s face turn serious. “Cas. Why are you still not married?”

Cas’ smile faltered at that. “Um… What’s the hurry? I’ll slowly-”

“Cas.” Dean tsked. “I am asking you seriously. Why are you not married yet? Hell, even I am!”

“Let’s say no one came forward?” Cas said which ended as a question.

“I am begging you Cas!” Dean all but exclaimed. “Please tell me. Even if it’s because of me, tell me. It’s okay.” Dean breathed out then said. “Just tell me. I need to know. Tell me why you aren’t in a relationship yet.”

Cas ignored Dean’s question and rode away. Dean got annoyed and apologized internally to his Baby before vehemently shaking the gearshift. “Dean!” Cas yelled as he got the car in control.

“Cas. Are you going to tell me now or not?” Dean asked staring at Cas’ profile. He didn’t know how long he was staring at the sharp jawlines, peach fuzz, and blue eyes, but they had now reached come to a stop.

“Dean we have reached your hotel.” Dean looked out realizing they had reached Hampton Inn, the hotel his assistant had booked.

Dean turned to Cas with a forlorn look as he asked. “Are you just going to drop me off? Just like that?”

“No, no.” Cas said. Dean sighed in relief. Dean had hoped to talk with Cas. They were meeting after 22 years. Dean had kept tabs on Castiel though. More like had a vision-board fully dedicated to pics Cas had taken. And also ask him abou- “I will drop Baby in the valet and take a cab back home.”

Dean felt angry at what Cas had said. “Don’t you feel like talking to me at all?”

“I will come back tomorrow morning to drop you at the airport.” Cas motioned to the headboard where Dean’s phone was. “Take my number.” Dean defeatedly took his phone up and noted Cas’ number. He stared at Cas later, waiting for him to say something. “Dean, I am not purposefully-” Dean got out of Baby and walked towards the door. Cas was just giving another excuse to leave again. Why did he want to leave without saying anything again? Just like before.

_Beautiful memories are becoming bitter.  
Won’t my distances ever vanish?  
Yearnings of my soul, tear me apart.  
Won’t the past ever return?_

_Looking and yet not looking,  
Will my heart, forever live like that?  
The cowardice of words are like,  
The harp without a melody._

Dean didn’t realize how he’d gotten to his room, but now here he was. With lyrics to his presumably new song brewing up. He took the notebook on his nightstand and wrote his thoughts down, the only way he could express his feelings.

_Within the principles of love, the rules are changing.  
Emotions are taking over.  
My burdens are disappearing, into thin air.  
The destination seems to have a hundred paths.  
To become one with you._

_Shall I bask as the moon of your love?  
To be cheated in the break of dawn?  
In this glorious night, come and live,  
Hoping the dawn that breaks is ours!_

_My angel-_

Dean stopped writing. He took a deep breathe before patting himself down and taking his phone out. He swiped his phone, his recently used app, Contacts, open with Cas’ name staring at him. He took a beat to calm himself down before pressing call. As soon as the call got connected, Dean pressed his phone to his ears.

“Hello Dean.” Cas’ gravelly voice came through the phone. “What is it?”

“Cas,” Dean breathed out, “Have you left?”

“Tell me Dean, you need anything?” Cas’ calm tone was grating Dean’s ears.

“No, where are you?” Dean asked, feeling tears pool in his eyes.

“Dean?” Cas called out in a soft tone.

“Have you gone too far?” Dean asked in a small voice, a stray tear falling down his cheeks. There was no response. Dean took a stuttered breath and asked. “Have you gone too far, Cas?”

“I’ve been standing right where I left you.” Cas admitted a beat later. Dean perked up at that. His legs took off, running towards the elevator. He ran out of the elevator and walked past the automatic doors to find Cas leaning on his Baby, looking up at the sky. Dean’s eyes had dried up during the run, and he was smiling at the sight in front of him.

He then glared at Cas and took determined strides towards him. Cas opened the door and moved back, as Dean walked closer. Dean shut the door and literally kicked Cas’ ass. “You. Complete. Ass! Castiel!” Cas chuckled as Dean repeatedly slapped his back. “Is it wrong that I wanted to talk to you?!”

“Sorry.” Cas apologized between laughter.

“22 years!” Dean yelled. Cas bent to the ground, startling Dean to jump back. “Hey!” Cas touched Dean’s feet in apologies, and straightened, motioning Dean to get in. And Dean did take shotgun. The two drove off. Where? Dean didn’t know, but after a while on the road Dean said, “Thanks.”

“Dean.” Cas called. “Tell me where you want to go?” Before Dean could answer, Cas’ phone started ringing. He fished it out and gasped. “It’s Sam! Sh!”

Dean covered his mouth with his hands and giggled, as Cas turned on the call. Cas mouthed ‘quiet’ before turning the call into speaker. “Yes Sam?”

“Where are you?” Gabe’s voice asked instead.

“Um… nearing Pontiac.” Cas said. Dean’s eyes twinkled with amusement.

“Pontiac?!” Sam’s voice was distant but audible. “Isn’t that fast?”

“You forget how Cas drives?” Gabe asked rhetorically. True they rode cycles to school, but Cas always rode fast.

“Ok, fine.” Sam said before asking. “Have you dropped Dean?”

“Yes. Dropped him and am on my way.” Cas winked at Dean, who tried to hide a snort.

“Did he say anything?” Sam asked.

“Not really,” Cas lied easily. “He was just enquiring about my dad. But he is dead.” Dean looked at Cas, who nodded. Dean showed his condolence through his expression, but Cas waved it off. “We then reached the hotel,” Oh right they were on the phone. “I dropped him and left.” Cas ended, turning back to the phone on the headboard.

“Oh okay.” Charlie’s voice came through. They might have started a conference call. “Alright! You don’t keep thinking about things, go sleep.”

“We’ll call you in the morning.” Sam said. “Okay.” Cas replied and the call got cut.

Dean moved his hands from his mouth and asked. “How?” At Cas’ confused look, Dean elaborated. “How did your dad die?”

“Liver failure.” Cas shrugged. “Serves him right for drinking like a madman and spending all our money.”

Before Dean could say something, his phone started to ring. He picked it up and said, “It’s Charlie!”

Cas smiled in conspiracy as he lifted a finger to his mouth, motioning silence, before whispering, “Talk! Go ahead!”

“Sh!” Dean said and Cas zipped his mouth, before Dean turned his phone on in speaker. “Hello?”

“Where are you?” Charlie asked this time.

“I… I am in my room.” Dean stuttered at first but collected himself easily.

“What time is your flight tomorrow?”

“6:30 am.” Dean replied.

“Direct flight?” Sam’s voice asked.

“Yes. Direct fast flight.” Dean replied.

“Okay, call us after you reach.” Gabe said. “Or mention us during your concert!”

“Gabe!” Sam chided, and the two started squabbling something. Cas held his laughter in.

“Quiet down idiots!” Charlie said. “At least text us when you reach Dean.”

“Okay sure.” Dean said. “Okay dude. Bye.” Gabe said before hanging up the call.

Dean and Cas looked at each other before chuckling at what had just happened.

“Now tell me where shall we go?” Cas asked a while later.

“Let’s go somewhere!” Dean said.

“Somewhere?”

“Somewhere.” Dean nodded.

Cas chuckled nervously before saying, “In a moment of bravery, I asked you out.” Dean’s heart thrummed at that wording, but he knew this wasn’t a date. “But I haven’t gone out anywhere.” Cas continued. “So, tell me where should we go?”

“Okay.” Dean said and contemplated a while before he settled with a place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed :)


	6. Salon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They talk :)

Cas scrunched his eyes and moved back, Dean peeking before flinching as Cas got sprayed with water. Balthazar, the barber (Cas insisted to call him that) took ahold of Cas’ hair and twirled his head around. “Did you cut your hair anywhere else?”

“NO!” Cas hissed at the pain of getting his hair pulled. Balthazar hummed and turned away. “I know him from long back.” Cas informed Dean, who smiled knowingly. The interaction between the two made him think they were dating, but Gabe’s info that Cas had never been in a relationship crossed that idea out.

“I know him from long back, huh?” Balthazar repeated in a mocking tone. “Shouldn’t you say we know each other even before you grew these monstrous things?” He grabbed ahold of Cas’ beard, getting Cas to scream lightly.”22 years. We went to Senior High and university together.” Dean smiled at that. “Whenever he saw something relating to Kansas, he used to come to my house and sit with a long face.”

Dean’s smile faltered at that, but Cas didn’t notice it as he glared at Balthazar. “Zar!” He said both as a warning and a plead.

Balthazar smirked then turned to Dean. “Okay. Tell me. How should I cut his hair?”

“Huh?” Dean unintelligently asked.

“Like Efron? Beckham? One of the Hemsworths? Gyllenhaal? Or me?” Balthazar said with a smirk as he combed through his hair.

“Dude,” Dean started, his eyes twinkling with excitement, “cut his hair like a 10 th grade kid.” Cas straightened and looked at Dean, who was smiling, and then Zar who was smirking knowingly, before he buried his face in his hands, as Dean and Balthazar laughing at his antics.

“Which year?” Balthazar asked though he knew it.

“’98.” Dean replied hesitantly, internally cringing at his sappy mind.

“Oh ho!” Balthazar’s smirk intensified as he turned to Cas. “’98 Cassie.”

“Shut up Zar.” Cas grumbled. As Zar brought his electric razor towards his beard, Cas turned to Dean. “Should I really have to shave my beard?”

Dean tsked. “Of course!” He said in a sing song manner, like it was obvious that it should happen. Cas breathed in before turning to show his face to Zar. Dean excitedly followed and bent down like Balthazar did and stared at Cas’ face.

“Where are you coming darling?” Balthazar asked Dean. “I know you are a pop sensation, but he is like a bear.” Zar motioned to Cas’ face. “It will take time to sculpt this monstrosity into a 10th grade kid. Sit and watch the fun.” He jerked his head to a nearby chair.

“Sit.” Cas said to Dean, who replied with an okay, before Zar grabbed Cas’ face and turned it to the front.

“Turn this side Cassie.” Balthazar chided before raising the razor to Cas’ face.

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“You have lost half your weight love.” Zar chuckled as he finished the final touches to Cas. Zar sprayed Cas’ face with water before giving a towel to him.

Dean had closed his eyes in between, not wanting to spoil the grand reveal of shaved Cas for himself. As Zar informed Dean that Cas was done, Dean turned to find Cas hiding his face with the towel. As Dean approached him, Cas moved away, stopping when he hit Zar’s chest. Zar smirked and pulled the towel down.

Dean gasped as he looked at Cas with wide, happy, excited eyes. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. It was like the boy he saw all those years ago.

“Okay?” Balthazar asked. “Double okay!” Dean replied, raising both his thumbs up.

“Okay now you sit.” Balthazar said, and Dean’s face morphed into confusion. “Let’s transform you too.”

“Oh no! I don’t wanna!” Dean moved back, raising his hands in a ‘wait’ motion. Balthazar raised his eyebrow at that. Cas laughed as he motioned Zar to back down.

“Okay then,” Zar said, “now leave my house. I need to sleep.”

“Okay you wait, I’ll come.” Cas said to Dean, who nodded and left, his eyes not leaving Cas’ face till he exited. As soon as Dean exited, Cas slipped in money into Zar’s pocket, knowing he wouldn’t take it from Cas, before slapping his chest. “Do you know who he is?”

“I am wise enough Cassie. I understand everything. Besides remember when we-”

“What do you understand?” Cas asked.

“I can understand.” Zar smirked. 

“What do you understand?!” Cas asked more adamantly.

Zar pushed Cas off him with his fists, taking a punching stance. Cas did the same, before dropping his hands down. It was a weird thing they did after an argument for fun. Like they were gonna fight but not. “Get out love, I gotta sleep.”

Cas scowled then left, not before looking at himself and musing his hair, and checking himself out. Zar smiled at the disappearing figure of his friend and smiled at him. It was finally time for him to be happy.

Cas came down the stairs, and Dean looked up at the approaching footsteps. Dean’s eyes didn’t leave Cas’, which made Cas a little self-conscious. Cas shuffled in his spot before asking, “Shall we go?”

“Hmm,” Dean hummed with a contemplative look. “Remove your coat. And shirt.”

“Huh?” Cas looked at Dean with a terrified gaze.

“After all you’re wearing a T-shirt inside, right?” Dean said. “Before you ask how I know, I remember you wearing a t-shirt always inside our uniform shirt.” Dean smirked. “Remove it.”

“No… umm…” Cas hesitated.

“You remove it, or I will!” Dean demanded, startling Cas who jumped back. Cas looked around before removing his coat, which Dean snatched away. Then his shirt, which Dean snatched away too, leaving Cas in his slack pants and a blue loose shirt with few buttons at the top. Dean hummed appreciatively before saying, “See how handsomer you look now angel. Instead of that peach fuzz, creepy moustache, and this ugly trench coat.”

Cas looked away, still shuffling in his place when Dean moved forward. Cas quickly moved back, a surprised look dawning on Dean’s face. “What?” Cas asked.

Dean stared at Cas before moving front again. Cas moved back again, maintaining a distance between them, but met with a wall. Dean smirked before moving front. Cas moved back, plastering himself to the wall. Before Cas knew it, Dean’s hand was moving towards his waist. “Hey!Hey!Hey!” Cas said in a breath as he moved to the side, away from the hand. “What?!!!” Dean launched in again. “HEYHEYHEY!!!” Cas exclaimed again. “Dean! What is it?!”

Dean walked to the front, and Cas hid his face, looking at the ground. Dean looked at Cas with scrutiny. “Cas?” Dean asked in a low voice. “Are you a virgin?” Cas turned to look at Dean with a frightened look, and recognition dawned on Dean’s face. “You are a blushing virgin, aren’t you?”

“What the hell?” Cas asked. “Is this any way to ask it though?”

“So, it is true?!” Dean’s eyes widened in surprise.

“It’s getting late, let’s leave from here.” Cas said and tried to move away. 

Dean grasped Cas’ t-shirt and pulled him close, ignoring Cas’ sharp inhale of breath. “Are you going to tell me or not?”

“My shirt is getting crushed.” Cas replied pointing to where Dean was scrunching the shirt.

“Then answer me.” Dean demanded. “Thought you can evade all my questions and escape huh?”

“Now what do you want to know?” Cas said in a defeated voice.

“Whether-” Dean started but Cas stopped him by raising his hand in a ‘I surrender’ manner.

“Whatever it is, let’s go talk about it in the car.” Cas replied, his hands joined together, like he was praying Dean to let go of his shirt. “Please Dean.”

Dean stared at Cas before pushing him back, in the process releasing his hold on Cas’ shirt. “Get lost.” Cas looked to the ground as he moved away from Dean, walking towards the car. He let out an oomph when Dean smacked Cas’ back with the clothes he had in his hand. Cas ran quickly to Baby and opened the backseat door. Dean slammed it shut, apologizing to Baby internally, as Cas opened the passenger door, which Dean closed too.

Cas moved back as Dean leaned on his Baby. “Come here.” Dean pointed to the space in front of him and Cas followed. “Now spit it out.”

“Okay, I will spit it out then.” Cas said in an unamused, annoyed tone, but Dean didn’t care.

“First promise then say.” Dean extended his pinky finger out.

“Dean one shouldn’t swear about such things.” Cas said as he moved front unconsciously and Dean internally smirked.

“I am 100% sure you’d have cooked up a lie from the walk from there to here.” Dean said. “I don’t trust you.” Cas grumbled, but before he could retort, Dean grabbed his hand and slotted their pinkies together. “Swear on me.” Dean said, as Cas jerked his hand back. “Okay, you pinky promised.” Dean didn’t care that Cas was looking at him like he was crazy, nor was he hurt that Cas didn’t want to touch him, even for a pinky promise. “Now spit out.”

Cas hesitated, pacing back and forth. Dean restrained a laugh as Cas grumbled to himself, and scratched his neck in tension, before he said, “Yes I am a virgin Dean.”

“Holy shit!” Dean exclaimed as his eyes widened at Cas’ confession.

“Okay look.” Cas started. “You insisted, so I confessed. Now let’s just leave it at that.”

“Oh… you’ve got an ego, don’t you?” Dean said before smacking Cas’ arm. “Idiot. Do you know how old you are?”

Cas hesitated before standing up straight and speaking determinedly. “Please change the topic. I am feeling very shy.”

Dean couldn’t help but let out a laughter at whatever Cas just said in that tone. Dean really believed Cas was gonna say something serious. Cas smiled as Dean’s eyes crinkled as he laughed. Dean calmed down a while later. “Okay, leave that. In all these years, have you not fallen in love with anyone? At least attracted?”

“Can’t really say that…” Cas trailed off.

“Hmm…” Dean folded his arms in front of him. “I was expecting this. Finally! The truth is coming out.”

“What?”

“Girls and guys would have been all over a guy like you.” Dean said smiling. “How did they miss out?”

“There was this girl Meg, Meg Masters.” Cas said. “She was my classmate in uni.” Dean perked up interestedly. “Nice girl, beautiful to look at. While studying in uni, I had no idea about her feelings. After college got over, one day she called my phone and asked whether we could talk. As we were talking, she suddenly said her parents were looking for her to get in a relationship. I congratulated her on that. She got mad angry. After that she bluntly asked if I was interested.”

“What did you say?” Dean asked with eager curiosity.

“What was there to say?” Cas retorted. “For me to understand what she was saying too-”

“Okay but what did you say?” Dean interrupted Cas with a tsk.

“What did you expect me to say?” Cas asked back with confusion. “I told her that I am jobless, penniless, and all the other reasons why I wasn’t fit to be a boyfriend, moreover a potential life partner. She was stubborn. I had no options left. Finally, I told her the truth.”

“What is that?” Dean asked wanting to understand how Cas had gotten out.

“I told her about you.” Cas said like it was obvious, but Dean was stunned frozen. “Then she took a deep breath and hung up. We talk with one another through Facebook. There was, still is, potential but there is you.”

The two stood in silence after Cas ended. It was a while after when Dean spoke up. “Back then, I wondered why you left without informing? Why did you not come to see me again? Nothing made sense to me.” Dean said in a hushed voice. “I couldn’t even ask anyone.” He looked up to find a pair of blue eyes staring at him. “Neither could I forget about you.” Dean let out a breath before continuing, “I completely neglected my studies. It was miracle that I even passed my last year. My song had gotten famous and to distract myself from the pain, I completed my music degree properly.” Dean looked back to the ground and said, “Even then, every time I met any of our school friends, I used to wait eagerly to see if they would say something about you. If someone like you, tall and black haired passed by, I would hope it would be you and follow them many times, hoping to find those familiar blue eyes, but in vain. To add to all this, Sam ran away to Stanford, dad not wanting him to go away from him.”

Dean took a deep breath and continued, not noticing Cas’ slumped figure. “Two months after what Sammy did, I was offered a contract by Zach, a music producer, in return to marry Lisa. My dad, wanting to prove to Sam that a loyal son would listen to family, fixed my marriage with her. With the anger my dad harbored towards Sammy, I could not even go and speak to him about anything. Even if I had spoken, what would have I said? That I was in love with a guy till the 10 th grade, but I don’t know where he is now?” Dean shook his head and sighed. “Even on my wedding day, something within me told me you will come for me. Now saying it, it sounds cheesy and very dramatic.” Dean let out a chuckle. “Even while I was standing with Lisa in front of the officiator, I felt your presence in the wedding hall. I thought it would happen like how it happened in films. You would yell your objection right when the rings were to be exchanged, hoping you would take me with you, kiss me in front of everyone showing who I belonged to.” Dean closed his eyes. “But nothing like that took place. Only my wedding took place.”

Cas stared at Dean with a stoic look, his features schooled to not let any emotion seep out. “After that I was heartbroken.” Dean said before opening his eyes and fixing a smile on his face. “Till date, whenever my heart is heavy, my only refuge is my 15-year-old Cas.” Dean’s eyes danced across Cas’ features, with a happy smile, but Cas didn’t look anything. There were no emotions and that faltered Dean’s smile. “What happened?” Dean asked.

“Sir, it’s getting late. I have to close the gates.” An old voice said. Cas turned to the man and extended his arm, shaking hands with the guard. “If you get your car out, I can shut the gates.” Those words got Cas to take a double take at the Impala before nodding and opening the passenger door. Dean slid in with a confused face as Cas ran to the driver seat and started the car.

“Where are we going now?” Cas asked. Dean was hurt that Cas didn’t acknowledge anything he had just said but didn’t show. He fished his phone out and typed in something.

“I’ll tell you the directions. Just take me there.” Dean said and Cas nodded.

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Cas looked really frightened and Dean was trying not to laugh. “You brought me to a den of iniquity.” Cas stated in a shaky tone.

“Did you just call it a den of iniquity?” Dean asked, but Cas was too scared to answer. Dean sighed and walked to meet Cas’ face. “Look there are two things I know for certain.” Dean said as he removed his jacket. “One, Bert and Ernie are gay. And two, You are not gonna die a virgin. Not on my watch.”

“WHAT?!” Cas squeaked as he looked properly at Dean.

“Come on Let’s go.” Dean said pulling Cas into the ‘Den of Iniquity.’

A few recognized Dean, but not Cas. And as a photographer, being behind the lens did that to a man. Many knew his name, but not his face, saving his identity. As they sat down, Cas pushed the table down, and fumbled with it to get it up back right. Dean chuckled as the two slid into the chairs. “Dude, relax.”

“I should not be here.” Cas said.

Before Dean could tell Cas how much he deserved to be here, not be a virgin just because Dean wasn’t there, one of the ladies walked up. “Hi,” She said in a flirty voice, directed to Cas. “What’s your name?”

Cas just looked at the ground, gulping air as much as he could. Dean downed the jealousy with a whiskey as he saw his man getting hit on as he said, “Cas!” That startled Cas to look up. “His name is Cas.” Dean said. “What’s your name?”

“Chastity.” She said with a flirty smile. Dean laughed at the irony as he looked to Cas, who was downing a whole bottle of beer down his throat. “Well he likes you, and you like him, so dayenu!”

Chastity slid her hand around Cas’ arm and pulled him up, “Come on baby.” Cas looked at Dean with terror in his eyes, but Dean just smiled, hiding the pang of hurt that Cas was allowing a stranger to touch him happily while he slid away or avoided touching Dean. 

Dean had been drinking his whiskey, which tasted more bitter than usual when he heard a girl scream. He ran towards the scream to find Chastity throwing stuff at Castiel before running away crying.

“The hell did you do?!” Dean asked Cas in shock as Chastity walked past him, yelling swears like ‘jerk’, ‘bastard’, and more.

“I don’t know.” Cas said shrugging. His hair and disheveled appearance were doing things to Dean but the next words that came from Cas made him burst out in laughter. “I looked her in the eyes and told her it was not her fault that her father ran off just because he hated his job at the post office.”

“How did you-” Dean started but then stopped as a chuckle escaped his mouth. “Oh no Cas! This whole industry runs on absent fathers! It’s – it’s the natural order.” Dean laughed but realized there were people staring at them “We should leave. Come on!”

Dean hadn’t stopped laughing since their run from the club. As they reached the hotel, Cas asked with a soft smile directed towards Dean. “What was so funny?”

Dean shook his head as he calmed down. “It’s been a long time since I laughed so hard. Oh! It’s been more than a long time… Years!” Dean said looking and sounding distant. He then turned to Cas. “Sorry Cas. The things I said in the parking lot.” Cas tensed at that and looked away. “Those were things I wanted to tell you, someday when I met you. Who else was I gonna share these things with? That’s why I poured my heart out. Please don’t think I am trying to make you feel guilty. Okay?” Dean waited for Cas to reply. “Cas?” He called when he didn’t hear nor see a response.

Cas turned to Dean with a reassuring smile and shook his head. “No…” Cas then shifted in his seat to turn totally towards Dean. “The fact that I came to your college and sent a message saying that I wanted to see you, don’t you know any of that?” Cas asked in a small, timid voice.

Dean’s face turned into confusion and something else. “When did you come?” Dean asked in a confused tone. Cas stared at Dean, hoping to see some recognition. “Don’t lie to me, Cas.” Dean sternly said, his eyebrows frowning.

Cas still looked at Dean before he said. “I came, Dean.”

Dean shook his head before looking at Cas annoyed. “Don’t play with me, Cas.” But Cas didn’t deter. Dean’s annoyance oozed out, hope shifting in. “Really, did you come?”

Cas stared at Dean, not knowing how to relay whatever had happened to Dean, as Dean stared back, trying to see whether Cas was telling the truth or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO a *dun dun DUN* moment huh?


	7. Flashback

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Travelling Back to 18 Years Ago

_18 years back_

Cas was wearing a red t-shirt and black joggers, while Balthazar was in his usual black deep V-neck t-shirt. The two had come to Manhattan on a university scholarship thing. The two had exited from 116th street station, Columbia University, when a man in leather jacket caught Cas’ attention.

His sandy hair, manly build, that familiar laugh, and altogether those eyes. It was Dean, Dean Winchester.

“Cassie?” Balthazar’s voice got him out of his reverie. “What’s wrong love? You look like you have seen a ghost.”

“Zar.” Cas turned to him. “It’s him.” He pointed to the back of the leather jacket. “It’s Dean.”

“Say no more.” Zar nodded before sliding his hand in Cas’ as he started walking.

“Zar? What are you doing?” Cas asked as he was being dragged by him.

“Following your sweetheart of course.” Zar said. 

“What?!” Cas squeaked.

“Come on love.” Zar sighed but didn’t stop walking. “You just saw your love after what? 3 years?” Cas nodded. “And I have been there the whole time to see you put half your pieces back together. Today might be a day you get full closure and get to work to rebuild yourself again.” They stopped at the signal as they saw Dean bobbing his head presumably to the music oozing from his headphones. “Worst thing that can happen is him forgetting you. But don’t worry,” Zar bumped their shoulders together as they took the left Dean had taken, and the coming right. “I’ll be there for you like last time. Bros stick together Cassie. Just like you did after my disappointing ménage a …. What’s the French word for 12?”

Cas chuckled as they followed but stopped as Dean entered a building. ‘Manhattan School of Music.’ Huh, he knew Dean had started a career in music but didn’t know he was actually pursuing a degree in the fine arts.

“Hey there!” He heard Balthazar talk to a brunette, who was about to enter the building. “Could you please help us a moment?”

“The girl dropped her headphones from her ears and walked towards the two warily. “Dude, ask her!” Zar nudged Cas.

“Um… do you know Dean Winchester?” Cas stammered his way through the question. The girl nodded. “Could you please call him? I need to talk to him.”

“Is it anything to do with his stalking fans?” Cas shook his head vehemently. “Let me guess? Love?” Cas nodded at that, not catching her sarcastic tone.

“It’s not what think.” Zar said, and Cas looked confusedly at him. “They both have been in love, ever since school. There happened to be a break in the middle… The building seems to be under shuts, otherwise we ourselves would have met with him.” The girl raised her eyebrow at that. “We have come all the way from Pontiac, Illinois. Just inform him, that would do.” Zar smiled. 

“You came all the way from Pontiac just for this?” The girl asked suspiciously.

Before Cas could explain their scholarship thing, Zar replied, “Yes darling. We both are classmates.” The girl then looked at Cas who was nervously peeking in the building, trying to find any sign of Dean.

“I feel very bad for you guys.” The girl said slowly. “I will help you but are you sure there won’t be any trouble?”

Before Cas could speak, Zar jumped in again. “No nothing will happen darling. We just wanna see him and talk to him once. That’s all. Please.”

“Okay fine.” The girl was about to leave before she turned and asked. “What did you say your name was?”

“Castiel.” Castiel said. “Castiel would do.” He repeated.

The girl nodded and left.

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The girl had walked in just in time to see Dean Winchester walking with a hot, petite redhead. _Not now!_ She stopped in front of the two and turned to Dean. “Dean Winchester, right?” He nodded. “His name…” She trailed off rubbing her forehead. It was a weird name and she couldn’t remember it. “There is a guy waiting outside to meet you.” She pointed at the dude outside in the red t-shirt.

Dean looked out, his face turning into a scowl as he turned back to her. “What? Are you a messenger for stalkers?” Dean said in an annoyed voice. “Next time you come to me carrying such messages, my hand will be the one talking.” Dean yelled at her before leaving. The red head gave a sympathetic smile before following Dean and hissing, “That was very rude of you Dean!”

The brunette sighed and exited the building and went to meet the dude outside. “He saw you from there and yelled at me badly. Don’t know what the problem is. Maybe, if you had spoken directly to him, things would have been better, I suppose.”

Cas looked at the building before taking calming breaths and turning to the girl in front of him. “Just one more favor. Tell him I will never trouble him ever again.”

“Cassie-”

“Let’s go Zar.” Cas mumbled as he started to walk away.

“Why are you being hasty love? Let him come out, we will talk directly to him.”

“No need Zar.” Cas said. “Anything could have happened in the last three years. The least I can do is to not trouble him.”

“Hey, did we come so far just for this?” Zar retorted. Cas glared at him and Zar slumped defeatedly. The two started walking away before turning to the girl.

“Sorry, I did not ask you for your name?” Cas said. 

“Dorothy.” She answered.

“Thanks Dorothy.” Cas smiled genuinely before nudging Zar. “Let’s leave.”

The two left in a haste, Cas trying his best not to let what happened sting his heart, as Zar murmured soothings to him.

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_August 4, 2020._

Dean and Cas were staring at each other, Cas trying to see if Dean remembered what had happened, while Dean was trying to not let his emotions get exposed but failed. He quickly opened the passenger door, taking stuttered breaths to stop the tears from falling, and ran into the building. Cas quickly followed him, took the elevator and asked the receptionist what room Dean was in. Seeing the two hanging around, the receptionist shared the room number, for which Cas thanked them before getting in the elevator.

He took the time of the elevator ride to calm his breathing. As soon as the doors opened, Cas ran towards the room number, finding Dean’s shoes in the hallway, distantly separated. He opened the door to Dean’s room, getting assaulted by the sounds of Dean’s crying. “Dean?” Cas asked in worry.

“Don’t come inside!” Dean said between tears.

“No, no, no, I won’t.” Cas raised his hands, even though Dean wasn’t there. “I won’t. I will be standing outside the bedroom.”

“Cas,” Dean called his name with a heart-wrenching sob.

“Dean? Dean, are you okay?”

“Cas, I did not see you that day.” Dean sniffled. “I did not see you that day.” Dean repeated as he started a new round of crying.

“Dean?” Cas called out. Not a second later, he heard Dean slapping himself. “Hey, hey! Dean!” Cas ran in to find him in the bathroom, sitting on a closed toilet, and banging his head to the wall. “Hey, hey, hey, Dean! Dean!” Cas put his hand between the wall and Dean’s forehead, then cupped Dean’s cheeks to face him, as he kneeled. “Okay… Okay…” Cas tried to calm Dean down. 

Dean placed his hands on Cas’ eyes, not wanting Cas to see him cry. “I swear that day, I never saw you that day.” Dean cried. Cas took a hold of Dean’s hand and brought it between their chests. “I never saw you Cas.” Dean took a stuttered breath as he started crying again. 

Cas had started crying, looking at Dean’s heartbroken cries and wheezes. “Dean?” Cas asked in a shaky voice.

“I never saw you… never saw…” Dean slumped his head into Cas’ chest as he cried and repeated the same words again and again.

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_18 years back_

Dean had met with Charlie, who was studying in New York Institute of Technology, a newly established tech school. The university shared residence with Manhattan School of Music (MSM) and so Dean and she had dormed together. Right now, they were exiting the café, taking whatever was available. Dean’s go-to was the tater tots and grilled chicken quesadilla. Weird combination but he didn’t care.

As they were going to cross the threshold from MSM to Andersen Residence Hall, a girl stopped their walk. “Dean Winchester, right?” Dean nodded. “His name…” the girl trailed off rubbing her forehead. “There is a guy waiting outside to meet you.” She pointed outside the glass windows. 

Dean looked out to find Alastair smirking at him. Alastair had been a pain in the butt since day one of his time in MSM. The dude had followed Dean everywhere and anywhere, once even into the bathroom, telling him he had pretty lips that would be best stretched around his cock. Dean wanted to get a restraining order against this asshole but there was no solid evidence that he was taunting Dean. He always stood outside their building, smiling and smirking at him, trying to get it on with him.

Dean scowled at Alastair and turned back to the brunette in front of him. “What? Are you a messenger for stalkers?” Dean said in an annoyed voice. “Next time you come to me carrying such messages, my hand will be the one talking.” Dean yelled at her before leaving. 

Not a second later, Charlie was near him and hissing, “That was very rude of you Dean!” She said. “She didn’t know that dude was your tormentor.”

“Who doesn’t know about Alastair?” Dean retorted, but at Charlie’s ‘no bullshit’ look he sighed. “Yes, you are right. I will apologize to her immediately.” Charlie beamed at that and the two walked back to where they met the girl, just in time to see her enter through the door with a sad look.

“Go!” Charlie said as she pushed him towards her.

“Ahem…” Dean cleared his throat and the girl looked up. “Look I am sorry. I should haven’t had yelled at you. It’s just Alastair…” Dean trailed of shaking his head.

“What he is trying to say is,” Charlie somehow materialized beside Dean, “that you are our friend from now on. Hi! I am Charlie!”

“Dorothy.” The girl said extending her arm to Charlie. The two stared at each other, and Dean smiled with raised eyebrows. 

“Dibs on best man.” He coughed out, getting a glare from Charlie and blush from Dorothy. “Ignore him,” Charlie said and continued talking with their new addition to the group (or pair), as she left for their dorms. Dean followed, smirking at the development between the two.

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_August 4, 2020_

Dean was slouched over the toilet, as Cas leaned back on the bathtub, both with sad, annoyed, angry, and most importantly hopeless looks. They had shifted their pity-party from the bathroom to the bedroom, both on the floor and breathing, trying to calm themselves down.

“If we were not meant to be together, then why? Why did we have to meet?” Dean asked. “And look at you, because of me, you’re also in this state…” Dean said, taking a stuttered breath to stop himself from crying again.

Cas repeated the action and replied, “First of all, how could I believe… that you would hate me.” Cas ended in a whisper. “Whatever it was, I should have waited and seen you. I was hasty.” Cas said, quickly wiping his cheek. 

“That day if only Dorothy had mentioned your name…” Dean gasped in a breath, “Everything would have been different!” Dean facepalmed as he said, “It’s all my bad fate.”

Cas tsked at that. “Why should we get to know the truth now? What we believed to be the truth could have remained the actual truth. They do say ignorance is bliss.”

“You have also been thinking about me.” Dean said. “I would have never known that you came to see me. In this pain, that is soothing.”

“Also, we did wingman Dorothy and Charlie together.” Cas said, getting a small laugh from Dean. “I take that as a win.” Cas smiled, which Dean returned.

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The two had calmed down now, sitting in companionable silence for a while before Dean spoke up. “How come you never said anything when you were with me, but out of the blue, decided to come after three years to say it?”

“Actually, I used to think of it every day, but something will stop me. That I am not as handsome as Dean, I can’t sing like Dean, I used to keep thinking like that.” Dean facepalmed at Cas’ reasoning, chuckling at its stupidity. “That particular day, I had Zar with me. My stubborn ass would have found a way to ditch Zar and not meet you, but I don’t know what happened that day. It wasn’t just Zar pushing me, it was also my gut telling me if I didn’t confess that day, I would die. Some courage within me demanded I meet you, a courage like never before.”

“You know, you are very handsome. With your Russian-like features. Those sharp jaws, lean hard body, and especially your blue eyes.” Dean breathed in, calming himself down, as Cas shifted uncomfortably. 

“That yellow eyed loafer that used to follow you around everywhere.” Cas said suddenly, trying to change the topic. “Who was stalking you. Who was beaten up by someone and admitted in hospital which also became a police case?”

“Alastair.” Dean said as he nodded. Why was Cas bringing him up?

“It was me, who had hit him.”

“Holy shit!” Dean gasped, closing his mouth with his hand in shock.

“I was the one who hit him.” Cas repeated smiling happily. Dean patted the floor near him, and Cas moved front a bit, towards Dean. Dean motioned Cas to continue. “It was a day before I was leaving Manhattan. I saw that dude surrounding you with his goons and threatening you. I saw red. As soon as you left, I gave him a good punch to the face that got his minions scurrying away. I would have beaten him to death if Balthazar hadn’t found me with Alastair’s unconscious body.” Cas smiled as Dean looked at him with admiration and shock. “We left him in that park-”

“Sakura Park.”

“Yes.” Cas nodded. “And dashed to catch our train back to Illinois.”

“You are not as talentless as you think you are Cas.” Dean said, going back to clearing out Cas’ self-esteem issues. “Sure, you can’t sing, but you make me laugh. You capture the beauty of nature in a way others can’t see.” Cas looked up at that. “Yes, I have vision board full of your pictures. I mean the pictures you took! Not pictures of you. And apparently you beat the shit out of people to protect my honor!” Cas laughed at Dean’s rambling. “And I…” Dean started with small smile. He looked away and then said. “And I also have a bookshelf.” Dean said. “Filled with your poetry.”

“Huh?” Cas asked.

“I have the whole collection of your poetry. Or should I say of Jimmy Novak’s?” Dean smirked as Cas looked at him with a dumbfounded expression.

“How did-”

“I know you Cas. And I know every poem you ever wrote.” Dean smiled. “It’s the way you write. I can hear your voice in it. And I can hear our story in it. How I messed you up.” Dean said in a small before shaking his head. “Most of my songs were inspired from your poems. So, if you think I can sing, it’s because you write good.” Dean said determinedly. 

Cas nodded but added, “You didn’t mess my life up Dean Winchester. You gave meaning to it. With a dead mom and a deadbeat dad, you brought light to my darkness. You gave me Charlie, Gabe, and Sammy. You gave me you, and you gave me your love, and allowed me to love you. So, don’t you ever say you messed my life up.” Cas pinned Dean down with those blue eyes as he said, “Never feel guilty as to what happened. It was never, ever your fault.” Dean nodded and Cas returned it, then looked away.

“That day before, when they ganged up on you,” Cas started after a while, “you were in a suit. A tux. A black tux with a navy-blue bowtie.” Cas said. Dean smiled at Cas as he continued. “I had entered the building while Zar went to hook up with twelve people, trying to redo his disappointing ménage a douze.” As Dean perked up in curiosity, Cas said, “Story for later.” Dean nodded. “It was your solo concert that day. Held by your rock band or something.” Cas said and Dean smiled as he nodded. “I was in the back. Hiding from everyone, Charlie, Dorothy, Sam, and Gabe. They were all in the front seat, but I was in the back, in the dark near the exit doors.” As breathed in deeply before saying, “It was the first time I had seen you in tux. The girls near me were squealing, ‘fangirling.’” Dean puffed air through his nose at the bunny quotes Cas made with his fingers. “I could see it in your eyes. You were scared that you’d slide and fall in those dress shoes, but at the same time you were blushing at the ‘I love you’s and ‘So hot Dean’s.” Cas sighed dreamily before looking at Dean, “Did you know how you looked?”

“How?” Dean breathed the question out, entranced by how Cas was talking about him, like Dean was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

Cas didn’t reply with words. Instead he raised his hands, like he was carrying something. Then dropped them down lightly, like he was dropping the thing he was carrying. He then motioned sliding and exchanging of rings and Dean understood. He laughed at how Cas had replied that he wanted to marry Dean just because of how he looked in a tux.

“Do it once more please?” Dean laughed as he asked. Cas smiled at Dean’s laughter and repeated the motion. Anything to hear Dean laugh again. Dean burst into another round of laughter, and Cas joined, silently laughing as he enjoyed the moment, enjoyed the way Dean threw his head back, the way his eyes crinkled, and his lips stretching, showing those bright white teeth.

As Dean calmed down, Cas added, “After that I saw you in a tux only at your wedding.” Dean’s smile diminished at that. “A burgundy one. With matching bowtie.” Dean looked at Cas, who dropped his head and took some few calming breaths. “Just like you had thought, I had come for your wedding, Dean.” Dean’s breath fastened. Cas looked up and continued, “I was standing in a corner amidst the crowd. I just couldn’t stay till the rings were exchanged.” Dean was looking at Cas with unshed tears in his eyes, the same way Cas’ eyes looked. “I ran as far away as possible from that wedding hall. And all that noise.” Cas’s tears started to roll down his cheeks. He looked away trying to compose himself.

Dean took that opportunity to wipe his tears before looking back at Cas. He hesitated before taking a hold of his wrist. “Cas?” Before Dean could say something, the bell to their room rang. Cas got up jerking his hand back from Dean’s.

“Coffee…” Cas trailed off before walking to the door, as Dean rubbed his chest, trying to soothe away the pain that was forming, and biting his lips to not get himself to cry. Cas came back with two cups of coffee. The two nursed their cups for a while before Cas finished his cup and kept the cup in the center table. “Okay Dean. I’ll leave. After you drink get some sleep.” Cas got up. “I’ll come at 3:30, you get ready and come down. Okay. Bye.” Cas went on as he walked to the door.

“Cas.” Dean said in a demanding voice. “I want to speak to you about something, come here.”

“No, no. Whatever it is, you say it from there.” Cas said fiddling with the doorknob.

“Do you not trust me?” Dean asked. Not waiting for Cas’ reply, he continued. “Come and sit down, Cas.”

It wasn’t that Cas didn’t trust Dean; he didn’t trust himself. He was a fish that was stuck to the hook with the bait Dean Winchester. He could feel himself getting reeled in by the charm that Dean exuded. But still, Cas gave in and sat in front of Dean, but didn’t look at him.

“It’s taken me 22 years to see your idiotic face again. That too, just for a night. So, don’t tell me to sleep tonight.” Dean leaned forward, to which Cas immediately waddled his butt and shuffled back, as he shook his head ‘okay.’ Dean sighed and said. “I want to be with you. I want to talk to you. That’s all.”

He two stared at each other for a while before Cas cleared his throat. “Okay… okay.”

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 _Yearnings take shape and touch me,_ _  
_ _Burning the beauty,_ _  
_ _Cradling me like a mother!_ _  
_ _The language of the eyes follow,_ _  
_ _a path which leads to the story._

 _Won’t time become a horse at night?_ _  
_ _Same dreams! Same question!_ _  
_ _Won’t the skies caress and embrace and dance?_ _  
_ _The same moon, is coming closer._

It had been Dean’s idea to just sit and write songs for a while. Dean wanted to understand what Cas’ or Jimmy’s thought process was, when he wrote a poem, and Cas just wanted to see Dean smile.

 _Am I the fire that gets wet?_ _  
_ _Are you the raining moon?_ _  
_ _Will I be extinguished?_ _  
_ _Am I the waning musical note?_

 _Is love just a never-ending dream?_ _  
_ _Is the never-ending journey not enough?_   
_Is time a question alone? That is enough._ _  
My heart melts in longing to come closer to you._


	8. What could have been…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel and Dean are sighted together o_o

The two had gone out to get some food. The food service in the hotel had no varieties and the two wanted to spend some time with one another. They had walked along the roads and jumped into the restaurant that looked fancy and empty enough that Dean could eat in quiet. ( _ I am not that famous. Semi-famous Cas _ , Dean had grumbled.)

Dean was looking at the menu as Cas was stretching. Cas suddenly shrunk in and covered his face, “Oh shit!”

“What happened?” Dean asked in worry.

“My students.” Cas side eyed. Dean turned to find 5 girls come around the corner. 

“Okay. So, what?” Dean asked Cas.

“What if they see us together?” Cas retorted. “Okay, just check if they are looking this side.” Cas said quickly.

Dean casually looked to the side, then looked around the restaurant before letting his eyes fall on the table. “They aren’t looking, but they are leaving now.” He said. “But don’t they have to get through here to go to the exit?”

“Oh shit!” Cas swore again. “Okay! I will go and hide in the bathroom. Will you call me after they leave?”

Dean looked at Cas with a weird look as he nodded. Did Cas forget that they were sitting in a dim restaurant, moreover in a corner. And that the restroom was right next to the exit? But Dean didn’t say anything. It was amazing looking at Cas flail around restaurant like a headless chicken. Instead of going to the restroom, Cas had opened the door to the kitchen. Dean snorted as Cas profusely apologized and turned to move to the restroom, making eye-contact with one of his students. Said student perked up like a child seeing Santa.

She gave a shy small wave of her hand and pushed a strand of hair back, looking at Cas through her eyelashes. Oh! Dean was seeing this in amusement. This was going to be interesting.

“Hi.” Hannah said to a much smarter and less harrier version of her professor. “Your new look is amazing. I couldn’t recognize you from there!” Hannah said. That’s when Castiel realized what Dean and Zar had given one to him. As he raised his hand to feel his stubble, Hannah said. “I thought it was some young guy.”

“What are you doing here in this hour?” Cas asked Hannah and her friends. 

“Sir it’s Duma’s birthday.” Hester said. “So, we came to cut cake at midnight.”

“Oh Duma! Happy birthday Duma.” Cas wished her, who thanked him in return. Meanwhile, Hannah had caught site of a man in the corner who was peeking out and looking at their professor. Hannah raised her hand and gave a subtle wave towards the man. “Won’t your parents say anything? You being out at this hour?” Cas chided as the man in the corner booth smiled and waved back. “All of you should have not come alone at this hour.” Cas demanded. “Go reach home safe.”

“Is that your husband? Or date?” Hannah asked as she turned from the man to her professor. Before Cas could answer, Hannah moved to the booth.

Dean saw Cas turning nervous and so wore his indoor disguise things. A scarf that practically covered half his face, plus the dim lights obscured the vision except for food and so Dean was fine. Dean saw Cas mouthing to him that he didn’t say shit, while the girls waked towards him. Dean couldn’t understand what Cas was saying that but nodded.

“Hi.” The girl who perked at Cas’ mere sight said. “We are Professor Novak’s students.”

“I know.” Dean replied in a weird voice, trying to disguise himself. “He just told me.”

“Actually, we had no clue that he was married. He never told us.” The girl complained. Dean slowly turned to Cas with a raised eyebrow, as Cas repeated the words, he mouthed moments ago. ‘I never said anything.’ 

Dean smiled and turned to the kids. “We did not tell anyone because we eloped.” Dean smirked as Cas glared at him.

“You mean love marriage?” Another girl asked.

“Why? What happened?” Dean asked the girl.

“We can’t even believe he is married, and now you’re dropping the bomb that you guys eloped?!” She replied.

“Why you guys so mean?!” Dean chuckled. “Why can’t you not believe that we eloped?”

“Because he is so strict in class.” The girl from before said. “We can’t talk, we can’t look at each other, and we can’t even laugh.”

Dean turned an incredulous look at Cas. “Hannah, that’s enough!” Cas said in an authoritative yet pleading tone. “Don’t go sharing false things about me! Leave, leave now.”

Dean let out a laugh and asked, “Why are you threatening them Cas?” He then turned to the girls and said, “Come, sit.”

Cas stood there fiddling with the hem of his shirt, as the girls stole chairs from other tables and sat down, introducing themselves, and leaving space near Dean for him. He sat down and glared at Hannah, to which Hannah turned to Dean and complained.

“Look at him! Even in front of you…” She trailed off pointing to Cas’ face.

“I will take care of him, you continue.” Dean smiled and said.

“Where did I stop?” Hannah asked herself and Dean helped her, “You can’t even laugh.”

“Oh yes, we shouldn’t laugh…” Hannah repeated. “We shouldn’t even wear shorts above our knees! Both guys and girls. Even my father is more lenient than Castiel.” Hannah said, getting Dean to laugh. 

“I will tell him to be gentler with you all okay?” Dean asked.

“Yes!” Hannah said, as the other girl, who introduced herself as Duma asked, “How did you fall in love with a strict man like him? And how did you get him to love you back?!”

Dean smiled as he said, “Our love started way back from our school days. Known from 10 th grade but been there since we were in kindergarten.”

“That young?” Duma asked, looking at Cas in disbelief, who jerked his head up defiantly.

“Who asked whom out first?” Hannah asked. Dean pointed at Cas, and the girls looked to him in disbelief and shock. Cas shifted uncomfortably in his seat, which Hannah noticed. “Are you feeling shy?” She asked teasingly.

Dean laughed at Hannah’s taunt. Cas looked up and glared at Hannah, for which she turned back to Dean. “When did you accept it?”

“The same day, at that very moment.” Dean smiled looking down before meeting Hannah’s eyes and saying, “At once.”

“Huh,” Hannah slumped back on her chair. “I thought you would have made him chase you for a week.” “Or even a month!” Duma added.

Dean chuckled but said in a soft tone, “At that time he meant everything to me. Even now!” Dean smiled to himself.

“Could you please tell us how he asked you out?” Hester asked this time. Cas looked up at that, glancing nervously between Dean and Hester. Dean side-eyed Cas as Hester continued. “We won’t ask you anything else, we will leave.” As Cas shook his head no, Duma turned pleading eyes to Dean, “Birthday wish. Please?”

Dean puffed out air before starting. “Tenth grade went very merrily. I was always smiling. After that, Cas left the school suddenly. Without even telling me.” Cas glanced at Dean before looking down. “All the smiles turned to tears. Even after I joined uni I could never forget him. It used to be very painful.” Hannah’s face fell from an interested smile to a hurt look. “But something from within kept telling me, my Cas will come one day.” Dean said. “He will definitely come for me.” Cas stole a glance from Dean. “Sometimes though nothing happens around you, you will still have a gut feeling that something is going to happen, right? That’s how I was feeling that day!” Dean said.

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_ 18 years back _

Cas had exited 116 th station while Zar was flirting with someone. Cas’ eyes caught on a man in leather jacket. It was his Dean. Dean Winchester. Cas quickly followed Dean, ignoring Zar calling him. He went and stood in front of Manhattan School of Music, and saw Dean enter. Just as he was thinking of how to enter without an ID, a girl in headphones was about to enter.

“Excuse me, just a minute.” Cas called the girl, who looked at him with a wary look. “Do you know Dean Winchester?” The girl nodded. “Could you call him? I need to talk please.”

“Is it a stalking situation?” The girl asked.

“No. It is a love situation.” Cas replied awkwardly but not losing his confidence.

“Are you sure there won’t be any trouble?” The girl asked.

Cas took a deep breath in and asked, “What’s your name?”

“Dorothy.”

“Dorothy,” Cas started in a soft, soothing tone, “you don’t have to be scared. Just tell Dean Winchester that Castiel has come. Or even Cas would do.” Dorothy nodded and left. “Dorothy!” Cas called out, “Thanks.” He said, getting Dorothy’s smile in response.

Dean had met with Charlie, and the two were now exiting the café, taking whatever was available. As they were going to cross the threshold from MSM to Andersen Residence Hall, a girl stopped their walk. “Dean Winchester, right?” Dean nodded. “Someone called Cas is waiting for you.” Dean’s eyes widened as he searched out of the glass windows for his Cas. 

_ Dean’s POV _

What happened after that is something which I yearned that it would happen in my dreams at least. My Cas has come in search of me! In one second my world had changed. The minute I heard Cas’ name, my entire being shook. I couldn’t even walk, but I was running. I heard the girl yell a ‘Hey!’ as I dashed into her, while trying to go to the exit. I also heard Charlie consoling the girl, but I didn’t care. My whole focus was on a red t-shirt, standing in front of my school. My Cas was here after 3 years. My sunshine. My angel. My Cas, Cas, Cas, Cas…

I stopped as I saw Cas standing just few feet away from me. I bit my lips from trying to not cry. Cas, who was standing with his arms folded in front of him, dropped it to his sides as he saw me. I was seeing him after 3 years. The schoolboy face gone, a lion of man with a scruffy beard and starting moustache was in front of me. Walking towards me!

For me. For his Dean. Cas came and stood in front of me. I had hearted certain questions, which I desperately wanted to ask the day I see him. But…

“Hello Dean.”

And that crumbled my resolve. I approached him and kissed the living lights out of him. I could feel Cas smiling against my lips, as he wrapped his hand around me. I did the same and wrapped my legs around his waist in addition. The sound of birds chirping, trees rustling, water rushing were all familiar music to his ears. The newfound sense they had lost years ago, developing. I could hear Charlie hooting, but I didn’t care. Cas was here. Cas was finally here. 

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_ August 5, 2020 _

Dean and Cas were locked to each other’s eyes, staring at one another with unshed tears. Both smiling at one another, and all their expression conveyed was ‘if only it had happened.’ Hannah looked between the two, a soft smile appearing on her features. Cas suddenly shook off his reverie and stood up. 

“Okay, enough of listening to stories. It’s getting late. We are in the tomorrow now.” Cas said. “You people should leave. Leave, leave, leave.” Cas repeated as he tapped their chairs. The girls got up, and followed Cas who was walking towards the exit, not noticing Hannah still sitting with Dean.

As everyone left the building, Cas called Duma back and asked, “Can’t you be happy cutting a cake at 10 pm back at home? Is it a must to come out and cut at 12 pm and ask for stories?” Duma looked to the ground, not able to withstand Cas’ glare. “Okay, leave now. Go reach safely and tell everyone to text me back once they reached.”

Duma nodded and said as she left, “You both are made for each other.”

“Shut up and leave!” Cas pointed to the door, which Duma was already out of, and intensified his glare. Duma yelped and ran quickly away from Cas’ wrath. Cas then turned back to find Hannah standing up. “Hey! You want a special invitation? Leave!”

Hannah walked towards the door before turning to Cas. She suddenly hugged him and pulled back, “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight. Now leave!” He pointed to Hannah’s hands that were still on his shoulder. Hannah blushed lightly as she walked backwards, outside the gate. She turned to Dean who was still sitting in the booth, then left out of the two’s vision.

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“Where next?” Dean asked as the two walked to Baby.

“If you won’t mistake me, I want to ask you something?” Cas said turning to Dean and fiddling with his fingers. 

“Ooooh! What is it?” Dean asked in a teasing tone.

“Your hotel is far from here.” Cas said hesitantly. He then shook his head and said, “No, it’s alright, let’s go.”

“Just say it Cas!”

Cas stared wide eyed at Dean’s sudden outburst. He hesitated a bit before relenting and saying slowly, uncertainly. “My house is just close by.”

Dean’s face morphed from curiosity to anger. “What did you think of me Cas? I am married!”

“No, no, Sorry, sorry!” Cas said. He knew Dean would take it in the wrong way. That Cas was trying to get him for a one-night stand. “I didn’t mean it in that sense, Dean. I promise. That’s why I was hesitant to ask earlier. It’s fine. Let’s go to the hotel.” Cas was about to start the car, when Dean spoke up.

“There is this mythical creature in Brazil that lives underwater and seduces it’s preys. What’s their name?”

“Encantando.” Cas said, not understanding why Dean was bringing that up.

“Yeah, and there are those creatures in Nordic mythology that use their great seduction powers to lure their prey. What’s their name?”

“Selkies.” Cas answered again, still confused why Dean asking him these questions.

“Yeah… Well, the whole world can trust that you will not fall for their seduction methods, nor will you try to get it on with them.” Dean said with mischief in his eyes. “Your acts in the ‘Den of Iniquity’ is exhibit A.”

Cas turned around, letting out a sigh of relief. Dean wasn’t offended by his suggestion. Cas then turned to Dean with a defiant look and said, “That’s because I’ve shaved my facial hair off.” Dean burst out laughing at that.

“Shut up and take me home Cas.” Dean smiled, and Cas did as he was asked, ignoring the rush of happiness that filled his heart at Dean addressing his house as home.

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The two ran from the parking space inside the house, trying to shield themselves from the sudden downpour of rain. As they got under a shade, they realized them shielding themselves had been unsuccessful.

“So, this is the great Castiel, Jimmy Novak’s house huh?” Dean said as he entered the small apartment. Cas had said how he and Zar used their single room flats in Illinois as a base and travelled around the world for their work. Zar was a hair stylist, hated the word barber, who worked with celebrities. Dean had never met him because Lisa and her dad, Zach, had their own people for hair styling and make-up.

Dean took in the small living room, neatly kept, thus making it look a little spacious. “Um, where’s the bathroom?” Dean asked.

“Straight to the left… in that bedroom.” Cas said then moved about the house, “I will get you a towel. Do what you wanted to.” Dean nodded and left for the bathroom.

“Dean?” Cas knocked a while later, as he fetched a bar of soap, towel, and some of his clothes. Cas entered as he heard no response. He deposited the clothes on top of his chair and asked, “Dean? Should I keep the soap and towel in a reachable distance?”

“There’s a soap here already.” Dean replied.

“Dean! That’s my soap!” Cas said, uncomfortable with the intimacy that they were sharing a soap.

“Do you have psoriasis or don’t want my stink on your soap?”

“No!” Cas replied. The door to the bathroom suddenly opened and Cas turned around.

“Can you dry these?” He heard Dean say and a pile of clothes fall near him. Cas nodded and chucked the towel behind him, gathered the clothes, and ran outside the room.

Cas changed in his toilet, while Dean changed in his bedroom. Cas’ grey full-sleeve shirt was a perfect fit for Dean. He stared at himself in Cas’ clothes, looking how right it felt. He slowly brought the neck of the shirt to his nose and breathed in deeply. Watermelon and cinnamon, just like Cas.

Dean left the room, and saw Cas standing in a red t-shirt with half-sleeves. He wondered whether this was the shirt Cas wore when he saw him in Manhattan. Cas was in the balcony, sitting in the garden table set up there. Dean smiled as he went and slid in the chair.

“Dean.” Cas said as he pointed to the cups on the table. The nursed their tea for a while before Dean spoke up.

“Cas, I have to tell you something. And you have to listen to it.” Dean took a deep breath and said, “You shouldn’t stay like this. You should be in a relationship. Get married! You should have a family of your own. I want to see a replica of you. I want to pet and pamper them. I want to see the same blue eyes I fell in love with on them. I want to see it all and enjoy.” Dean huffed out air before continuing. “I want to know who your partner is going to be. I want to tell them something. That no one will get a gem of a guy like you. So, they better take great care of you. I literally and definitely wanna warn them.”

Cas smiled at Dean’s annoyed profile. The two sat in companionable silence after that. It was shattered when Cas asked, “Wanna eat? Shall I order something?”

“Not hungry.” Dean grumbled.

“Well I am hungry.” Cas said, knowing Dean was being stubborn.

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After several protests, Cas sat defeatedly on the floor of his living floor while Dean cooked for them.

“Is it good?” Dean asked as Cas bit into his burger. The pornographic moan Cas let out was enough of an answer. Dean went back to munching on his burger as Cas stared at Dean.

“Dean, are you happy?” Dean looked up at that.

“Hmmm!” Dean nodded happily. “After many years!” Dean smiled genuinely before biting into his burger.

“Hey idiot.” Cas called, getting Dean’s attention. “I didn’t mean now. I was asking whether you’re generally happy in life?”

“What kind of question is that? You’re asking me like my mom would.” Dean chuckled.

“I just felt like asking.” Cas shrugged. “If you don’t wanna share, don’t tell.”

Dean smiled before saying, “It was difficult. In the beginning. I got caught alone in the world too. Not knowing what to do, I used to shut myself in my room and cry. Read your poems, write my lyrics, look at your photography and think of tunes.” Dean then looked up and said. “But she’s a very nice person. Sure, dad married me off, but she was very nice. Sam and Gabe think wary of her because of her dad, but I know she is a good person. A very good mother to my son. Without me saying much, she understands me. No problems as such, nothing missing. But if you’re asking me if I am happy…” Dean trailed off and Cas looked at him in curiosity, “I would say I am peaceful.”

“Good.” Cas nodded before going back to his onion rings and burger. 

“But at this moment I feel like saying something, but I won’t” Dean said cheekily, something in his tone that made Cas look up. 

Cas stared at Dean trying to understand what he was going to say, before realization dawned on his face. He dropped his burger on his plate and moved back. “Don’t. I am happy with how I am.” Cas said just as the power went off. It was dark, and there was no light. “Dean, you don’t get up. Just stay right there. You may fall on something.” Cas said as he got up. “Just stay there. I will just come now.”

Cas walked to his room, to find a flashlight or a lantern. Power cuts had been usual since the renovations started a year ago, so Cas stocked up on battery powered lanterns and torch. But the problem was he didn’t know where he’d kept them. As he was feeling around the room for the lanterns or torch, a deep voice filled the air.

_ “Wise men say, only fools rush in…” _

Cas turned around at that, his breath fastening. He started walking towards his living room in fast paces but realized he can’t see crap. 

_ “But I can’t help, falling in love with you…” _

He ran back to his room and started flailing his hand around, trying to find a torch or some light-giving shit.

_ “Like a river flows, Surely to the sea. _ _   
_ _ Darling, so it goes. Some things are meant to be…” _

After few seconds of things falling over, and things cluttering around, Cas found his lantern and ran back to the living room, fiddling with its switch and entering the room with his bright lantern to see Dean with opening his closed eyes and staring up at Cas.

_ “Take my hand, _ _   
_ _ Take my whole life too. _ _   
_ _ For I can’t help, _ _   
_ __ falling in love with you.”

Cas kneeled in front of Dean as he sung the last line, his hands moving forward to cup Cas’ cheeks.

_ “For I can’t help, falling in love with you.” _

As Dean finished, and reached forward, the room brightened with light. Dean closed his eyes at the bright light, while Cas moved back to his room to keep his lantern in a reachable place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... there was a moment between them huh??


	9. The Suitcase

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s time to leave...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn’t update on Wednesday... I was a bit busy with my assignment and school work :( Hopefully you enjoy this chapter :)

Cas unlocked the combination on his almost broken old suitcase and opened. Dean gasped at what he saw. “What is all this?” He asked excitedly.

  
“Memories.” Cas said in the same excited tone. The suitcase had the bag and textbooks their school provided, two candy wrappers which Dean recognized from his birthday, and many more things.

  
“Wow!” Dean breathed in. “That old aroma! How were you able to keep all this safely for so long?”

  
Cas, meanwhile, took something out of the schoolbag and gave it to Dean. It was Cas’ school uniform. Especially the one Dean had messed up with ink after their first kiss. Dean brought the shirt to his nose and took a deep breath in and smiled when he smelt Cas in it. Watermelon and cinnamon. 

  
Cas smiled at Dean then took something else of the bag. “Yours.” He said as he gave a white shirt to Dean. 

  
“Mine?” Dean took it with a confused look. After speculation, Dean’s eyes widened. “How did this come to you?”

  
“Um… eBay.” Cas confessed and Dean turned to Cas in shock. “How do you think I am connected with Sam and Gabe?” Dean looked at Cas, hoping for more information. “After your first album became a hit, Sam and Gabe started selling things your mom kept in your ‘rubbish’ pile. They added your name to everything, but I knew that this shirt was genuine.” Cas smiled and said. “I made Zar talk over the phone and pick it up for me. So, I can keep it as a memory of you.” Cas the took a journal out of the suitcase and said, “Few weeks later I connected with the two, but I guess they were too busy with the eBay sales to let you know.”

  
Dean smiled but turned curious as Cas hid the journal behind his back. “What is that?”

  
“Nothing.” Cas replied quickly and Dean raised an eyebrow at that.

  
“Then why are you hiding it?” Dean asked. “Is it a love letter?”

  
“Much worse.” Cas said as he tried to hide it between his legs, but Dean caught ahold of one end of the book. “Dean! I said it’s nothing!” Cas shrieked trying to snatch the journal back.

  
“Then why are you snatching?” Dean then gasped in realization, “Is it poetry?” Cas slumped and nodded. “About me?” Cas nodded and snatched the book back. “Hey! Give it.” Cas shook his head.

  
“No, Dean. I am feeling shy.” Cas said seriously.

  
“Please Cas! Who is going to write poetry about me?” Dean asked.

  
“Your fans.” Cas deadpanned.

  
“And mean it?” Dean asked. “You are the only one who’d mean it.” At Cas’ hesitancy Dean said, “How about you read it?”

  
Cas nodded and opened his book. Dean was able to see the first page had the words ‘For Dean Winchester’ written in cursive. Or cas-sive, Dean chuckled at his own stupid joke he had made in their 4th grade as he settled in Cas’ bed and sprawled.

  
“This was the first poem I ever wrote,” Cas said as he moved his position on the floor to see Dean, “so please don’t laugh.” Dean nodded and zipped his mouth. Cas cleared his throat and started,

  
“Are you a sea full of waves?

My heart yearns for your next wave

Does a fish basket and a flower shop require an advertisement?

Is an attendance register required to know your arrival?

Apparently, we will lose our eyesight if we see the lightening,

But when I see your eyes, I feel like the lightning enters me.

If you belong to your mother who carried you for ten months,

Then you also belong to me, for I have carried you in my heart for ages.”

  
Cas looked up to see Dean’s reaction, but only found him to be asleep. Dean was lulled to sleep by Cas’ soothing gravelly voice spewing poem about him, Dean. Cas smiled softly at Dean’s sleeping form, then packed his suitcase and slid it slowly, and silently under his bed. He switched off the light in the room and covered Dean with a blanket and gave him extra pillows.   
  
Cas smiled at Dean’s sleeping face. He looked so peaceful. A glint of light caught Cas’ attention. It was from Dean’s ring. Cas quickly moved back, reminding himself that Dean was a married man. He took a pillow and left to the living room, to sleep on his couch. Not a second later, Dean’s voice called out, “Cas?”

  
“Oh, you weren’t asleep?” Cas asked.

  
Dean yawned as he said, “Come to bed Cas.”

  
“Bed?” Cas asked in a nervous tone. “No… I always sleep on the floor. I am comfortab-”

  
“Just come to bed Cas.” Dean said and walked back to the room, not waiting for Cas’ response.

  
Cas hesitantly followed Dean, but stood outside the room, thinking of a good excuse to not share a bed with Dean. He looked in to find Dean on his phone. Cas sighed in relief and moved in. Dean looked up at Cas and shifted to the side, giving Cas some space to sit. Cas sat near Dean, to find is phone on a dating app.

  
“Your email id, height, weight, etc. Share. Now.” Dean demanded.

  
“Why?”

  
“Let’s fix a person for you today.” Dean said.

  
“No, I don’t wanna.” Cas pouted like a petulant child.

  
“Why not?”

  
“Look,” Cas started, “After being in love with a dude like Dean Winchester, I can’t be in a relationship with someone else.”

  
“Why not?” Dean asked. “I was also in love with this nerdy, dorky, little guy Cas, but married Lisa Braeden, did I not?” Dean retorted. “Everything is possible. Tell me.”

  
“Caslovesbees@gmail.com” Cas grumbled out his email-id.

-x-

The pendulum in the clock tick-tock’s got Cas’ attention. The two were out in the balcony again, and the time was 3:15 am.

  
“Is it time?” Dean asked.

  
“Another 15 minutes to go.” Cas informed.

  
Dean’s face turned sad as he turned to look out at the view. “Hannah told me something at the restaurant.” Dean said after a beat. 

  
“Yeah I wanted to ask.” Cas said. “She was whispering something into your ears. What is it?” 

  
“She said that she knew we were lying.” Cas turned to look at Dean. “Yet she said you are a very nice person, and to take care of you well.” Cas’ smile faltered at that. “I know very well that you are a nice person, but she asked me to take care of you. I don’t know how to do that when I am not here.” Dean said.

  
Cas looked at Dean’s face dropping into sadness. “Shall we leave?” Cas asked to distract themselves from the topic. Dean nodded and Cas walked away.

  
The two left in Baby to the hotel, this time Dean driving. Cas had sat in the backseat, doing something, while Dean rode through the roads. 

  
Cas had actually decided to make a copy of his poem journal about Dean to give it to Dean. But he believed writing it in his own handwriting and presenting to him would be the best. As Dean drove, Cas finished copying his poems into the new journal he had lying around. Right now, he was writing 2 new poems. He had just finished one. 

  
The night, like an island, is circling us

Even the break of dawn seems like darkness

Memories like fire are burning inside

The body cries, like it is their death!

  
Separation is my bond and I melt in it!

I am separating from what breathes life into me!

Like the rivers that flow from the mountains, you flowed into my heart.

In the barren land, you gave birth to a million seas. 

Let the dream be my only companion!

  
They reached the hotel and Cas waited in the car, but at Dean’s gaze he exited the car and waited in the main hall as Dean went to change in the bathroom.

  
This lotus, in spite of being alone in the pond, is lonely.

The sun basks in the warmth, even when it’s not day.

In one path, two souls are searching for their soulmate,

Time is again and again placing obstacles!

  
Living a life without you, is that a life at all!

Come my life! Life is to live! You are the life within me!

Shall I come? Shall I come?

  
As Dean got himself checked out of the hotel, Cas went to get Baby, but still finishing his poem, so that he could slide it into Dean’s luggage in the trunk without Dean’s knowledge.

  
Every single day my heart comes alive and dies that very day.

Till the end of my life, my heart will celebrate you, and only you.

Even when the trees fall and nests shatter, birds still sing and chirp.

Even when the night is over, the moon still waits patiently!

  
The rain drops reach the sea; the immortal love will reach Earth!

Even when by body we are distant, my love will live with you forever!

You take leave…

  
The two had left the hotel and left for the airport, Cas driving, while Dean took shotgun. No words exchanged between them. Dean had changed his pants from Cas’ sweats to his now dried jeans, and packed his leather jacket in his bag, intentionally leaving his black t-shirt back… A memory. As Dean saw the board that mentioned the airport was nearing, he took in a stuttered breath. This is it. He was leaving Cas, and the two were separating again.

  
As Cas drove into the long line that was formed in front of the airport, Dean placed his hand on the gearshift. Not moving it or anything. He just wanted to feel Cas’ warmth once before he left. The whole time they spent, it was Dean who casually touched him, but Cas never once did so, and Dean wanted to change that.

  
As soon as Cas got the parking ticket from the machine, he placed his hand on the gearshift, and quickly took it back seeing Dean’s hand was covering it. He looked up at Dean’s profile to see him staring ahead with a determined look. Cas looked front as he covered Dean’s hand, and the gearshift, with his own hands. He pretended to not hear Dean’s slight hitch in breath as he changed the gearshift and drove forward, never taking his hand of the gearshift, or of Dean’s hand.

  
Cas took his hand off as he opened the car door, making Dean realize they had arrived in the airport. Cas made an aborted move to exit before closing the door and turning to Dean. “What do I do with the car?”

  
Dean didn’t answer as he got off with his duffle and walked to the departures’ terminal. Cas followed with Dean’s guitar bag and Baby’s key. He slid his copy of the poem journal in the bag.

  
The two were now standing in front the check in gates. Cas slid the guitar bag of him and gave it to Dean, who moved back, refusing to take it. “What?” Cas asked.

  
“I just want to stay with you for a little more time.” Dean said with pleading eyes. 

  
“You’re already late Dean.”

  
“Please Cas!” Dean said as he took a stuttered breath. Cas donned a contemplative face as Dean looked at him with pleading eyes.

  
“Don’t look at me like that.” Cas said in a soft tone. He could never resist those wide, green, puppy eyes. Cas huffed a breath as he pushed the guitar bag to Dean, “Okay, hold this.”

  
“Where are you going?” Dean asked as he refused to slide the bag over his back.

  
Cas grunted as he slid the bag over his shoulders. “Okay, you wait then. I will come and tell you.” Cas said before leaving Dean to stand alone there.

  
Cas came back a while later and said. “I have gotten a flight ticket. Till you board the flight, I will be with you. Capische?” Dean smiled brightly as he snatched Cas’ ticket and walked to the security check-in, with Cas in tow. The two did all the formalities together and reached the boarding gates and stood together, looking at the flights taking off. It was a while later the boarding call to Dean’s flight came on. 

  
Dean slid his hand in Cas’ as all the passengers in the waiting area started to line up in front of the gate. Cas turned to Dean and moved Dean so he could face him. Cas was crying silently, and that let the tears Dean had in control fall too. The held each other’s hand and stared at one another.

  
Dean tried to push Cas away from him, as he felt his tears fall more. But Cas stood his ground and stared at Dean with tears running down his face like a river. Dean closed Cas’ eyes with his hands, not wanting Cas to see him cry, but Cas crying made his hands wet. Dean moved forward and enveloped Cas in a bear hug, Cas letting out heart-wrenching sobs. Dean tried to control himself. He knew he would be wailing if he wasn’t closing his lips tightly. But Cas didn’t care. He was sniffling and moving closer to Dean, trying to bury himself in Dean’s chest.

  
Dean couldn’t control his lips anymore, so he pressed them hardly in Cas’ hair, kissing him goodbye and reassuring him. Dean couldn’t handle Cas’ cries anymore. He pushed Cas back forcefully before running to his gates, as his name was being called in the final calls. Cas fell to his knees, looking down on the airport carpet. He didn’t know how long he was there, but he had stopped crying. He had seen the flight take off in his peripheral vision. 

  
He left later, calling Zar to see if he would be able to pick him up. He went to the parking lot to see Baby already taken away. He came back home to see Dean’s black shirt drying in his balcony. He opened his suitcase, folded the t-shirt, and placed it where Dean’s uniform was. He stared at the suitcase in front of him before closing it and sliding it under his bed.

-x-

Dean had taken both his bags as a carry-on. In the middle of his ride, he took his guitar out to see if there was any damage, just to find a book fall out. He took it and opened to see the words ‘For Dean Winchester’ written in Cas-sive. Dean went through the book and read each and every poem, seeing himself through Cas’ eyes.

  
The last 2 poems were a new addition, if the dates written on top were any indication. Dean let out a sob as he read the words, ‘You take leave…’ in the 2nd last poem. At the end of the last poem, there was a message from Cas to him.

  
**Dean Winchester,**

**  
I can’t wait for you to transform these into beautiful songs. I can’t wait to hear your voice read my poem out. I will be waiting.**

**  
Always yours,**

**Love,**

**Cas.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Realized that there are actually 11 and not 10 chapters so I will quickly change that and most likely will be updating them by today thus ending this work. Please do share your thoughts as this is my first non-destined endgame fic :))))
> 
> P.S. sorry for any formatting issues as my laptop has been acting up :p


	10. 5 years, 1 month, and 13 days later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love ❤️

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is really song oriented so I am sorry to all who most likely skip the songs just to read the plot 😅😅
> 
> Hopefully this chapter didn’t bore y’all :)

“Welcome back to Music Talk Show. And now it’s time for our most awaited release. Dean Winchester’s new album!!!” The host said. As the cheers from the audience calmed, the host turned to Dean. “So, Mr. Winchester-”

  
“Dean’s fine.” He smiled.

  
“Okay. So, Dean, we have been waiting for this release for the past 4 years since the news was shared on your twitter.” The host said excitedly. “We have heard that this album is different from your usual go to genre.”

  
“Yes, it is.” Dean agreed. “As you all know, my persona is hard, fast-paced songs, which most aptly falls under the rock genre. But this album is different from my norm.”

  
“I must say.” The host said. “The poster release, from 3 years ago, for your album was different from the others. The 1-minute teaser song, released last year was really different from your norm.” The audience cheered in agreement. “It was really creative and beautiful.” The host looked like she was going to ask something but then stopped. “Looks like the audience are waiting in anticipation to listen to your songs!”

  
“Alright then.” Dean smiled as he got up and flapped his leather jacket, “Where should I go stand?” He asked.

  
-x-

  
Sam, Gabe, Charlie, and Dorothy were sitting in the audience, smiling supportively at Dean. It was last year when Dean called them and shared what had happened that night after their reunion. Dorothy had felt guilty that she hadn’t remembered Cas’ name, but Charlie and Dean had reassured her, saying it wasn’t her fault.

  
As soon as that call ended, the four had tried to call Cas, but he didn’t pick up his phone. They had tried insistently since then, but Cas never attended the call. Cas was still there in their class group chat, but he was dormant. They didn’t know what had happened to Cas after the reunion. They had been scared he had done something harsh or stupid, but his works were still being published. As Castiel and as Jimmy Novak, the latter no one except Dean knew.

  
Dean now had his last song to perform, which was going to take place after the break. “Gabe, try calling him again!” Sam said.

  
Dean had gotten 6 extra tickets and had sent two for the couples, including 2 for Cas but he had not shown up. The four had tried calling him the whole day, Dean wanting Cas to listen to the songs’ first look but like usual Cas was not picking up his phone.

  
“Welcome back once again to the Music Talk Show. Take it away Dean.” The host said and the spotlights fell on him.

  
“This is the last and final song of the album. Hope you enjoy.” Dean slid the guitar of himself and took his spot near the microphone, Lisa taking the other side. Lisa was a singer too, and that’s why they got married. Unbeknownst to Lisa, Zachariah had matched the two up because he wanted his daughter to get fame, and Dean had potential.   
  
Little did Zach know; Lisa wasn’t that interested in singing. As soon as she got married, she became a housewife, enjoying doing things on her own. Dean and she had gotten along, they were good friends, and made do with their relationship. Lisa didn’t know about Cas, but she knew Dean had a history. They loved each other, but Dean knew it wasn’t like Cas.

  
“And let’s hear it for Dean Winchester and Lisa Winchester!!” The audiences cheered and calmed down as the piano started to play.

  
( **LISA** , _DEAN_ , **_CHORUS_** )

  
**O beloved love**

  
_The heart always dances to its own tunes_

_An endless curiosity_

  
**It comes in different shapes or form, love**

  
_A unique search_

  
**In fire, in endless air,**

**In every object such as grass, insects**

  
_Love becomes every object_

_And takes form before our eyes_

  
**_Love is so on and so forth_ **

**_We keep looking out even when it is not there_ **

**_Always…_ **

**_Unchanging love_ **

**_When we plead, it will come with alternative view_ **

**_Uncontrollable tussle…_ **

  
The music changed from slow beats to fast, the four hanging on the edge of their seats to see what was happening. It was gradual but unexpected.

  
**_Aah – Aah – Aah – Aah_ **

  
_We in this fire_

  
**Are matchsticks building a house**

  
_We in this fast breeze_

_Dusts hanging like a swing_

_We in this water_

  
**Flow with life like water-insects**

**We are the taste of lust in the stem**

  
**_Love is a crying spider_ **

**_Lovie is colorful art of stars_ **

**_Love is a true rumorA_ **

**_never-ending continuous diary_ **

**_Love is a formless enemy_ **

**_Love is a fan of Satan_ **

**_Love is a sunrise of the soul_ **

**_A degree won from living daily_ **

**_In… one answer… many questions… are hiding! Aah—_ **

**_We… will dissolve… will disappear… will finally end! Aah—_ **

  
The tune faded as everyone except Dean left the stage, the music fading from an aggressive tone to a really soft one. The sounds of a bird chirping and a whale wailing filled the air, the drumbeats slowing to non- existent.

  
_Aah – my cuddling world… come,_

_Like a heart-warming harmony…_

_The spirit of 5 elements_

_Fill my heart to the brim…_

_Everything I see, is you, my love._

  
The tune of a violin filled the air as Dean’s face became distant. Sam, Gabe, Charlie, and Dorothy looked to each other before Sam and Charlie got up to move to the backstage, the look all familiar. It was the same look Dean got when Cas left them in 10th grade.

_  
O my love, O my love_

_My lifetime companion_

_Come along, come along_

_Till it’s all done_

_O my love, O my love_

_Till end of our life_

_We shall go, You should come_

_With me…._

  
Dean ended as he fell to his knees. He wasn’t crying or anything, he was just defeated. The chorus went on, humming the tune till it ended. As Gabe and Dorothy got up, thinking the song had ended, a new voice came through the speakers.

  
No need to search

Love will arrive without making an announcement

And your heart will shout it out

  
Gabe, Dorothy, Sam and Charlie looked to each other from across the room with shocked looks. Dean perked up as he subtly started searching for the source of the voice.

  
Love will reach you one day

Embrace it, take good care of it

Love is here to stay, it will hesitate a bit.

Love will laugh, love is sweet

  
Love will make one to write poems

Love might make you to go in circles

Bring confusion.

Love can be deciphered only to some extent

Love can withdraw, separate, or isolate.

  
Send off love without closing the door

As love can return someday

If love hesitates to reach out, approach it

Make a sweet talk.

  
Enough,

Love is your fold

Heart is tied to love.

  
Change is a question; change is the answer. Love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find out in the next chapter who the new voice is (pretend for me like you don’t know who it is lol)


	11. The Pure End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love is always the pure end... be it rough or smooth, it’s always pure :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU ALL WHO GAVE THIS WORK A TRY!! I was really scared of receiving hate for not writing a destiny endgame fix but as usual the spnfamily has been kind :) hope you enjoy the ending and be happy :)

The lights brightened, and Dean was now standing. His eyes searching subtly around the room, as the host approached him, sniffing and wiping her eyes.

  
“That was a beautiful song Dean. The way it started in a normal beat, fastened up, and then slowed down to its end. And that poem recitation at the end.” The host let out a chef’s kiss. “Well that’s all the time we’ve got! So, see you next time on the Music Talk Show, and don’t forget to buy this new album, ‘For Dean Winchester’!!! Goodbye!”

  
“And that’s a wrap!” The camera man said and the audience, host, everyone left. As soon as those words left his mouth, Dean frantically turned his head, looking everywhere to find him.

  
“Dean.” Lisa’s voice called him. “It was a recording.” She said which stopped his movements. He turned to Lisa who was smiling sympathetically. “I checked our mail a month ago and found this tape sent to us. With instructions to play it on September 18th, after the show. After the song, The Pure End.”

  
“Oh…” Dean slumped. Pure End was what Cas had named his last poem, and Dean had done the same with his album.

  
“I heard the tape, to be sure there were no obscenities in it, but the poem had gone beautifully with the song, I understood why he had said that.” Lisa hesitated before asking, “Was that Castiel?”

  
Dean turned wide eyes towards her who simply replied, “I saw you when you showed me pics of your reunion Dean.” Lisa said with imploring eyes. “I really saw you Dean. When you said everyone’s name.”

  
By that time, Charlie, Dorothy, Sam, and Gabe had materialized near Dean. The four’s presence was support enough for Dean. Before Dean could say anything, a 16-year-old Ben came tumbling over to Dean.

  
“Dad!”

  
“Yes Ben.” Dean crouched down smiling, while the others schooled their features.

  
“His name…” Ben closed his eyes before he opened them and said, “There was a guy waiting by the door.” Dean looked up to find no one except them 7 in the studio. “He told me to give you this.”

  
Dean took a rectangular wrapped thing from Ben. He uncovered it to find the book, ‘The Bird and the Whale’ in it. Dean let out a watery chuckle as he opened the book, and something fell out of it. He picked it up and found it to be a picture of a fat chubby baby boy with blue eyes and dark hair looking at hm with a familiar squint and tilt of head. He turned the picture around to see a message, written in Cas-sive.

  
**_Meet Jack Masters,  
Hair expected to turn blonde like his mom’s, but eyes will stay blue. Loved the performance, and love what you did with the poems.  
Love,Cas._ **

  
Dean smiled at that and wiped his eyes before giving the picture to Sam and hugging Lisa and Ben. “Thank you.”

  
“No mention.” Lisa shrugged.

-x-

“You okay Clarence?” Meg asked as he slid into their Continental. Jack was in the backseat, babbling about and beaming at everything.

  
“Yes I am.” Cas said. Meg knew about Dean. Well that was the reason he had not gone out with her. She had asked him out a week after Cas’ run-in with Dean in Manhattan, and so he hadn’t been ready. Dean’s rejection had made Cas think about himself and whether he was really an apt partner.

  
After sharing what had happened in the hotel and the airport with Zar, Zar had consoled him, calmed him down, and had been with him till the next day before Cas had to leave for his photoshoot in London. It was a surprise when Meg had pinged him in Messenger asking how he was doing. Cas had told her the truth about what had happened with Dean and stuff. 

  
Unlike Zar, who pitied him, Meg understood him. Her fiancé Crowley had died in a car accident, and she had been totally enamored by him. His mother, Rowena, had yelled at Meg, saying she was cursed, and she should never think of being in a relationship again. In a time of loss, she took the hurtful words to heart. It had taken time for her to realize there was nothing wrong with her. Sure, Crowley would always be a part of her life, but she was ready to move on.

  
Cas didn’t experience his love dying, but he had lost him. Meg, Zar, and Cas met up in November, and Cas had found it easy to talk with Meg. He had found hope in relationship again. And especially when Zar was near the two and making suggestive looks, it was hard to not notice the chemistry between them.

  
They had officially started dating and had made it clear that they weren’t doing this for replacing their love, or to prove to themselves that they could be in a relationship again. They genuinely were interested in one another, and though it wasn’t be like their love for their former interests, they loved each other. They had gotten married 2 years ago. A simple affair. Cas had invited his friends to the marriage, and they’d come except Dean who was busy with album release and things.

  
“Well Jimmy,” Meg drawled, “What do you say we go back home?” Jack shrieked at his mom calling his dad Jimmy, something that happened every time since the last four months of his birth. Meg had gotten to know Cas was Jimmy when she read the books. Jack didn’t like it when Cas was called Jimmy. He liked it when Cas was called Cas, Castiel, or Clarence. No Jimmy.

  
Cas nodded and drove them all home, wondering if Dean got the book. It was obvious from the sound effects in the last song that Dean would have understood the meaning behind it, but he wasn’t sure if Ben had given the book to Dean.

  
But in the end, he knew their love was of a profound bond.

-x-

_1988_

  
“So, kids,” Ms. Naomi said. “What is the meaning behind the story of the Bird and the Whale.” A pudgy hand went up. “Yes?”

  
“If you love something but can’t have it, then you should let go.” A voice of the green-eyed boy said. “Like pies for dinner!”

  
“Good answer. Anyone else?” Ms. Naomi asked. Another pudgy hand went up. “Yes!” Ms. Naomi said, happy with the first answer and hoping for the next to be something similar.

  
“Ms. Naomi, this story is factually wrong.” The blue-eyed boy said. Ms. Naomi was intrigued by the boy’s English. Well the answer was gonna be great.

  
“How so?” Ms. Naomi asked interested and hoping for a nice answer.

  
“Birds and whales can’t talk.” The boy frowned. “Moreover, birds are known for singing and whales just yell. Like yeeaAAAAAAAAAA-”

  
“QUIET DOWN!” Ms. Naomi glared at the boy. She had expected better than this from him… Ugh it was her fault for upping her hope. The bell had rung, noting recess and the kids ran out of the room, and so did Naomi.

  
The blue-eyed boy sat down quietly, looking down at the floor with a frown, only to look up when he heard someone laugh. He found the green-eyed boy who had answered first giggling silently at him.

  
“Stop laughing at me!” The blue-eyed boy pouted and turned away.

  
“I was not laughing at you!” The green-eyed boy said the blue-eyed boy didn’t turn. The green-eyed boy then scooched over to the blue-eyed boy and tapped his shoulder. “Hey.” He said in a soft tone, like his mom said whenever he or his baby brother got a boo-boo.

  
“What?” The blue-eyed boy turned around and asked.

  
“I laughed because I really liked your answer.” The green-eyed boy smiled. “Hey! My name is Dean. Dean Winchester.” Dean put his hand out like his dad had taught him to do when introducing themselves.

  
“My name is Castiel.” The blue-eyed boy said as he shook his hand.

  
“Hmm. I like Cas better.” Castiel brightened at that name too. 

  
Cas quickly turned around and shuffled through his bag. “Here you go Dean. I have pie.”

  
Dean looked at Cas with admiration before saying. “We are going to be the best best best partners ever.”

  
“Ever?” Cas asked.

  
“Ever.” Dean nodded determinedly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you once again for your support!!!

**Author's Note:**

> This is the fable btw. You can find it here:  
> https://www.thefablecottage.com/english/bird-and-whale
> 
> Comments and thoughts please :)


End file.
